Anybody Have A Map?

Starting today, I am taking a 2.5 month sabbatical from work. I haven't told a lot of people about it, because a part of me feels like it's an admission of failure - that I just can't deal with "adulting" like everyone else seems to be able to. The other reason I feel guilty about it is that it's a privilege very few would have - most jobs wouldn't allow you to take this much time off work.

All that being said, I hit a wall. Some of it is COVID, but some of it is working for 12+ years at a demanding job with long hours. So, I really need this right now in my life, and maybe that makes me weak - but each of us has moments of weakness, and it's okay to not be okay sometimes.

As I've thought about what I want to accomplish during this sabbatical, I've realized that there are literally hundreds of things I *could* do - lots of little tasks I never seem to find time for. I'm making a list of those, and my goal is to do one of those things per day. Even little things like cleaning/organizing the linen closet will at least make me feel like I am not wasting this time. It would be easy to let this time slip by in reading/watching TV (though I will no doubt also be doing plenty of that), but it would be a waste to let that be ALL I do with this once in a lifetime opportunity. At the same time, I want to be kind with myself, and realize that not everything on the list may get done, and that is okay.

With goals and new year's resolutions, I've learned that the simplest goals are the best. I've also learned that I can only do a few goals at a time. Thus, I have three incontrovertible rules that I'm going to stick to during my sabbatical. I don't know if I'll share all of them here, as they are personal, but one of them is to unplug from time wasting apps on my phone. So, over the weekend, I deleted Facebook, Instagram, Jewels, Nerts, and Twitter from my phone. You are probably familiar with the social media apps, Jewels and Nerts are the games I play when I'm bored. I'm debating whether to delete the Kindle app (I might do it temporarily until I read all the physical books in my "to read" pile).

Social media has been a double edged sword for me for a long time - I'm grateful to use it to know how my friends are doing, especially the ones who don't live near me. But, all too often it becomes a trigger for jealousy/envy and it also lets me pretend to be a good friend without interacting with people in real life. The games apps have been taking up way too much time and are completely useless.

Other than my "Optional Tasks List" and "Three Incontrovertible Rules," I'm not really setting an agenda for this time. I'm hoping to have fun and not think much about tax accounting. So, it kind of feels like setting off on a journey without a map. The song "Anybody Have a Map?" from the Broadway musical Dear Evan Hansen has been running through my mind.

Even though the song is about parenting challenges, and I'm not a parent, it really speaks to the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing. These lyrics stick out to me:

Does anybody have a map?

Anybody maybe happen to know how the hell to do this?

I don't know if you can tell

But this is me just pretending to know

So where's the map?

I need a clue

'Cause the scary truth is

I'm flying blind

And I'm making this up as I go

It is a scary truth to acknowledge I'm struggling and not really know how to fix it or where I'll end up. But I'm so lucky to have this time and I'm looking forward to some great trips I have planned, and skipping basically all of my adult responsibilities this summer.

As I will have a lot of "free time" this summer - feel free to share recommendations on:

- Podcasts I should listen to

- Shows/movies I should watch

- Day trips or fun places to visit in the DC area

- Restaurants I should try

- Your favorite complicated recipes I should attempt

- Books I should read (although I have plenty of those already)

Blogging is on the "optional task list" - so you may or may not see more of me in this space this summer. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. I would love to hear from you via text, phone, or email if you have time to catch-up.

19 Neat Things From 2019

It's time for me to dust off the blog for my "Year in Review" post where I recap my year. As usual, the items aren't in any particular order until the top five. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Wouldn't it be loverly...to see a great show in NYC?

19) 2019 started off right, with a trip to NYC with my parents to see one of the best musicals ever, My Fair Lady, at Lincoln Center. We also managed to fit in some museum time, chocolate cake french toast, and my favorite scallion pancakes.

Smiling because I only paid $100 to see this show the second time, and it was fantastic!

 18) Teaching training in Chicago in January is not my favorite, but I did find a cheap ticket to Hamilton and so I got to enjoy that show again.

Atlanta Temple

Halifax, Nova Scotia Temple

Philadelphia Temple - hate the traffic, love the temple itself!

17) Sadly for me, the DC temple remained closed during all of 2019. But I did get a chance to visit several temples while traveling - including Halifax, NYC, Philadelphia, Memphis, Atlanta, and Chicago. Excited that the Church announced the DC temple open house will be in fall 2020, hopefully the DC temple reopens by the end of the 2020 year.
16) The Nats won the World Series! I may have to stop complaining about how bad DC sports teams are (we'll always have our football team...). Baby Shark, Do Doo Do Doo...

West Wing Weekly Taping with my partner in crime, April, who loves West Wing almost as much as me

15) Went to my last taping of "The West Wing Weekly," my favorite podcast, which is about my favorite TV show, "The West Wing." The podcast is wrapping up in 2020, saddest of days! The TV series is also leaving Netflix in 2020, which makes me glad I have my full DVD set.
14) Attended "Diner En Blanc" for the third year, this time with my friend Hannah.

Our Diner En Blanc place setting this year

13) Taught the 11 year-olds at church (for 8 months of the year). We had about 10 of them, and there was A LOT of personality in that room. I always enjoy hearing the perspective of kids on the gospel, because they will tell you what they are thinking.
12) Plenty of baking/cooking adventures - I still like trying new recipes and enjoyed a few meetings of "Cookbook Club" this year. For 2020, my goal is to expand my repertoire of bread baking skills - I know how to make my mom's/grandma's rolls super well, but I want to expand my knowledge of bread in 2020.

Cambodian Pineapple Soup for Cookbook Club

Holiday Roll Baking for friends and neighbors

Peach Strawberry Gallette for a roommate reunion feast

11) Lots of doggie snuggles. Reviewing the pictures I took during 2019: 80% dog pictures, 10% food pictures, and 10% everything else. I hate taking pictures of myself, so maybe I can work on that in 2020? Probably not, Daisy is much cuter than me.

She's so fluffy I want to die!

10) Traveled internationally for work. I didn't really get to see much of India, but my Indian co-workers were unbelievably kind and gracious, and it was great to meet them and teach training in Bangalore and Kochi. It was NOT great to spend over 12 hours in the Kochi airport due to flight delays on our way home.

View from the Hotel Rooftop Pool in Kochi, India

9) Last December training in Orlando! My work has had a work training event every year in December for many years, but this year was the last hurrah - my team will be switching to training in Orlando in May for 2020 and future years. Unfortunately that means I won't get to see one of my favorite co-workers, who transferred to Atlanta and is in a different group. Luckily we were able to do one last hurrah at Downtown Disney together this year.
8) Because I neglected to paint or carve my pumpkins for Halloween, I ended up using them to write things I was grateful for during the month of November. It was a fun idea and I may do it again next year, because it really helped me maintain a spirit of gratitude during the month.

Gratitude Pumpkins

7) A new Church calling: teaching Sunday lessons and planning weekday activities for the 12-13 year old girls at Church. It is a time-intensive calling but the girls are sweet and it is good to get to know them.
6) Attended the 50th Anniversary of the Moon Landing presentation on DC's National Mall. I have been to some cool things in DC, but this was one of the best - they used the Washington Monument as a projector screen to show some of the footage. It was truly EPIC, as the kids (used to?) say.

Moon Landing presentation on Washington Monument in DC

5) Helped to plan "Activity Days Camp" - a three day camp for the 8-11 year old girls at Church. I blogged about it earlier in the year, but it was very fun, and a good excuse to use my party planning traits inherited from my mom.
4) Surprised my family on Christmas Eve by picking up my brother Kevin and sister-in-law Saba at the airport and having them join us for a few days. My parents had no idea, and it was so fun to surprise them!

Me, Kevin, and Saba in DC

3) As the Church transitioned to a 2-hour block of meetings (instead of 3 hours of Sunday meetings!), they also implemented the "Come Follow Me" home study program, encouraging families to study together. Rather than mope about how I don't live with my family and couldn't participate in the home study curriculum, I organized some friends for a monthly discussion group and it has been wonderful to discuss the gospel with friends, something I don't often do.
2) Organized Mormon-themed suffrage tours of Washington, D.C. (to co-opt a popular 2019 song, I am 100% THAT history nerd). It was fun to study up on the subject and concoct a tour of suffrage history that intersects with my Church. There were some tough, smart, and civically-minded women in the Mormon church and we should all know more about them. Someone who is a better writer than me should write a book/articles about it.

Cookies, part of my suffrage tour

1) Visited Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia, basically fulfilling a life-long dream to travel to the Land of Anne of Green Gables. My book club celebrated its 10-year anniversary in 2019 and several members decided to travel to PEI to celebrate. It was a magically delightful and beautiful place. After PEI, I journeyed on alone to Cape Breton Island in Nova Scotia, and it was just amazing as well. The world really is so beautiful and, as Anne says "Dear old world, you are very lovely, and I am glad to be alive in you."

The Beautiful Lupine Flowers of Prince Edward Island

Here's to more memories and fun (and a new President? Please?) in 2020!

Some Good Things Happened in 2018! (Didn't They?)

I have only posted six blog posts in 2018, which is probably a reflection of how much I hated politics this year. President Trump seems to suck up all the oxygen in the political atmosphere and turn it in to toxic smoke. Ugh. November's Blue Wave in the House of Representatives brought hope, but the Senate is still going to go along with Trump's agenda and the next two years will probably just be a proxy for 2020 presidential campaigns. Sigh.

A picture to sum up 2018 in a nutshell!

But, some good things did come of 2018! So, sit back and relax while we talk about something really important: Me. LOL. Here are my 18 good things from 2018.

18) Spent time at the Happiest Place on Earth (TM). I spent two weeks in January teaching a work training to college new hires for my company. Luckily, it took place in Orlando and on our partially free weekend the company gave us a "park hopper" pass to visit the Disney Parks. So, I got to ride Space Mountain and visit Epcot. It had been a long time since I visited Disney. Still need to make it to the Harry Potter park!

Me at Disney!!!!!!!!!!!

17) First trip to Nashville. I was in town for just over 24 hours for a work presentation - just enough time to try Hattie B's Hot Chicken, a Nashville staple.
16) Annual trip to see the Cherry Blossoms at the Tidal Basin in DC. This has become a yearly tradition - I usually go on a morning around sunrise to see all the blossoms without the huge crowds. It is so beautiful!

Cherry Blossoms at Tidal Basin

15) Got my culture on! Attempted to paint a watercolor at a Relief Society event. Don't be too impressed - they had us trace the picture in wax, which made it easy to fill in. Also made a centerpiece celebrating 10 years of the Best Book Club Ever!

#ITried

Book Club Centerpiece, featuring books we've read over 10 years

14) Attended a live taping of my favorite podcast, The West Wing Weekly. This was so fun - they even had Bradley Whitford, an actor who plays one of my favorite characters, as a guest. #nerd
13) Tried new cooking skills. Made orange curd for the first time (as filling for a friend's requested birthday cake), baked chocolate baguettes for Cookbook Club, made chicken pot pie for a Pi Day celebration, and made Pastitsio (Greek Lasagna) for Father's Day. Also baked over 300 mini cupcakes for my brother and sister-in-law's wedding reception (first and last time I will ever do that!).

331 mini cupcakes, with six different flavors!

12) Visited the Frick Collection in NYC for the first time - it's a classy little museum, and we saw an exhibit of paintings of the twelve tribes of Israel by Zubaran.

Central Atrium at the Frick

11) Tried to appreciate nature more - visited a little rainwater pond near my house that I hadn't been to before and tried to capture the beauty.

Love the reflection of the clouds in the water!

10) Visited the Adams Memorial in Rock Creek Cemetery, which features a cast iron statute by Augustus Saint Gaudens commonly known as "Grief." It was a favorite place of Eleanor Roosevelt when she was first lady, and since I have been slowly reading her biography I wanted to visit. While I've lived in the DC area for a long time, I still love finding out about random and interesting places to see here.

"Grief"

9) Rediscovered the joys of ocean swimming. A trip to North Carolina for a co-worker's wedding provided an opportunity to swim in the ocean, something I enjoy but haven't done in years.

8) Participated in the "March for Our Lives" against gun violence and the "Families Belong Together" rally to protest separation of immigrant children from their parents. While both marches didn't really accomplish much in terms of concrete action, it was still great to see so many people committing to causes I strongly support.

#FamiliesBelongTogether

#MarchForOurLives

7) Visited Portland for the first time to see my friend Jenny. So many things to love about this city, not least of which is Powell's Rare Book room and Voodoo doughnuts. Also made it out to Cannon Beach on the coast, which is magical. Oregon generally is green and beautiful - loved exploring near Multnomah Falls and the Japanese Gardens and Rose Garden in Portland.

Cannon Beach, Oregon

6) Went to my second Diner En Blanc. Though the venue wasn't ideal, it was still fun to see everyone and see all the great costumes.

Dinner En Blanc, Nats Stadium

5) Temple Tourism. Due to the closure of the DC temple for renovations, I visited some temples in other places as I traveled. Specifically, I did temple sessions at temples in Orlando, Philadelphia, Seattle, Birmingham, and Newport Beach. So glad that there are so many temples around the country that I can visit and feel the spirit there.

Seattle

Birmingham, AL at night

Newport Beach, CA

Philadelphia, PA

Orlando, FL

4) Road trip to Alabama and Mississippi. I had intended to do a separate and complete post on how amazing this trip was, but never got around to it. Suffice it to say, you should really visit the civil rights sites in Birmingham and Montgomery, Alabama.

MLK's church in Montgomery, AL

3) Activity Days and Primary. I joined a family ward this year, and have enjoyed helping with Activity Days (weeknight activities for girls 8-11) and teaching a Primary class for the 10-12 year old girls. It's been fun to be around kids on a regular basis. They're fun and funny and unpredictably lovely.
2) Went to my brother's wedding in Newport Beach, California at the end of November. It was phenomenal to all be together as a family - first time in 2-3 years all my siblings and parents had all been in the same place at the same time. Plus, my brother and new sister-in-law were so happy and full of joy.
1) I got a dog! I've been wanting to do this for a while and am so glad that I finally did. She is cute and cuddly and wags her tail when I come home, which makes me feel happy. Unconditional love is where it's at, my friends.

I hope you each ring out 2018 with friends, family, fun, and food. Here's wishing you the best in 2019!

Fear Not

I'm reading some of the old Christmas devotionals on lds.org, and I found this quote from Elder L. Whitney Clayton in his address "Fear Not" from the 2015 Christmas Devotional. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

The angel perceived the shepherds’ fear when he appeared to them, telling them to “fear not.” The astonishing glory of God, which radiated from the unexpected heavenly messenger, had indeed struck fear in their hearts. But the news the angel had come to share was nothing to be afraid of. He had come to announce a miracle, to bring the ultimate good news, to tell them that the redemption of mankind literally had commenced. No other messenger before or since has brought happier greetings. The Only Begotten of the Father was beginning His mortal sojourn: “For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.” These were indeed good tidings of great joy.

We each face moments in our lives when the great joy that the angel promised can seem elusive and distant. All of us are subject to the frailties and hardships of life—illness, failure, problems, disappointment, and, in the end, death. While many people are blessed to live in physical safety, others today do not. Many face great difficulty meeting the demands of life and the physical and emotional toll it can bring.

And yet, despite life’s hardships, the message of the Lord to each of us is the same today as it was to the shepherds keeping watch two thousand years ago: “Fear not.” Perhaps the angel’s injunction to fear not has more transcendent relevance to us today than it did in calming the shepherds’ fear that first Christmas night. Could he also have meant for us to understand that because of the Savior, fear will never triumph? to reinforce that ultimate fear is never justified? to remind us that no earthly problem need be lasting, that none of us is beyond redeeming?

The sweetest gift given at Christmas will always be the one our Savior Himself gave us: His perfect peace.

(One of my Favorite Christmas Songs - "When the Baby Grew Up" by Kathy Mattea

Road Trip (Part 2)

I'll take refuge from political posts with Part 2 of my October road trip (see Part 1 here).

For part of the trip, my parents joined me. We started our first day at the cemetery where my grandparents are buried in western Massachusetts. I had never been there before when the leaves were changing, but it was a beautiful and peaceful place. Unfortunately I don't remember my grandma, because she died when I was really little, but it is nice to think of an remember her and my grandpa.

While on this road trip, I listened to a book on tape: "Lives Like Loaded Guns," which is about Emily Dickinson and her family. We visited her house in Amherst, Massachusetts which was lovely. While I don't always understand her poetry, I think some of it is profound and moving.

My parents had both lived in Western Massachusetts so they were both excited that the Hartford, Connecticut temple was being dedicated - we made it to the last day of the open house. The temple was simple, but peaceful.

The next day we visited Mark Twain's house (for some reason I didn't take many pictures here). Mark Twain was father of three girls, two of whom died before he did, which I think is so sad.

After another long drive, I spent the next day at Hyde Park, New York. I went to Franklin Delano Roosevelt's Presidential Library and home, along with "Top Cottage" (where he planned to retire after his Presidency), and Eleanor Roosevelt's home after his death, Val-kill.

FDR's home, living room

I liked that FDR's home had a room called the "snuggery" - it was his mother's private parlor. I think I need one of those in my house.

View of the front of FDR's house (behind the house are gorgeous views of the Hudson Valley)

Outside the library - statutes of FDR, Churchill, and a sculpture carved from remains of the Berlin Wall. Franklin wrote Winston at one point: "It is fun to be in the same decade as you!"

The FDR Library had a lot of interesting exhibits regarding FDR's presidency - my favorite were some of the campaign buttons for and against Roosevelt's re-election bid in 1940. He was the only President to ever seek a third term and there was some vigourous debate about it. Some of the slogans on buttons:
- "I'm against the Third Term. Washington Wouldn't. Grant Couldn't. Roosevelt Shouldn't."
- "Better a Third Termer than a Third Rater."
- "Third Term Taboo. 23 Skidoo."
- "Two good terms deserve another."

A view of "Top Cottage," which FDR built up on a hill near the main house. He wanted to retire here after his Presidency was over. This cottage was where he hosted the King of England during the King's visit to the U.S. FDR's mom was scandalized when FDR served hot dogs at the picnic (there was plenty of other food too).

Above is the study in Eleanor Roosevelt's home, Val-Kill. She liked to read, can you tell?  She is one of my heroes and I love so much about her. After she was first lady, she worked tirelessly for human rights and helped draft the United Nations' Universal Declaration of Human Rights. This study was where she met with a young senator named John F. Kennedy when he sought her endorsement. She grilled him on civil rights and urged him to do more for this cause, but ultimately did endorse him. The Presidential library also had an exhibit of the contents of her wallet when she passed away in 1962. It had this prayer:

Prayer
For All Those Who Work or Fight in the Air
Lord have pity upon all men.
To those who are in darkness
Be their light.
To those who are in despair
Be their Hope.
To those who are suffering
Be their Healing.
To those who are fearful
Be their Courage.
To those who are defeated
Be their Victory.
To those who are dying
Be their Life.

After learning a lot about both Roosevelts, I took a walk across the Hudson river. "Walkway Over the Hudson" is an old railroad bridge that has been converted into a public walkway over a mile long. It was a lovely jaunt and very scenic with the changing leaves.

The next day brought art from the Hudson River school of American painting, and lots of it. I stopped first at Cedar Grove, the home of Thomas Cole, who was the father of this school of painting. He spent a lot of time in upstate New York, hiking and sketching, eventually moving here after marrying a local girl.

Painting by Thomas Cole - forget the name of it, but I loved the light of the sun in this painting.

Cedar Grove - they had SO MANY of Cole's paintings, it was amazing.

Next, I crossed the river and visited Olana, a home designed by Cole's fellow painter and artist, Frederic Church. Church had bad arthritis for the last few years of his life, so he spent his time being an artist on a grand scale - designing the house and grounds.

A lot of the windows at Olana have beautiful frames to create "living pictures" from the outdoor scenery.

Loved this pastoral scene, with cows, by Church

 I thoroughly enjoyed a tour of the inside of the house, which was full of Church paintings and artifacts, but the best part was the landscape tour of the grounds that I also did - the fall colors were, quite simply, perfect and it was a beautiful fall day.

View of Olana from the grounds - it's a beautiful house with a lot of Arab design touches.

One of the views on the Olana grounds.

 After a day of art, I headed (where else?) to a cemetery. Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, to be exact. It's the final resting place of Washington Irving, writer of the short story "Legend of Sleepy Hollow." A few other famous New Yorkers are also buried there, including Dale Carnegie and Samuel Gompers, along with some Rockerfellers.

My last day was a stop in New York City to see the 9/11 memorial and museum there. It was sobering to reflect on my memories of that day so long ago.

An art exhibit - the artist asked people to recall the color of the sky on 9/11.

 My last stop was the Morgan Library and Museum, which had an exhibit honoring Charlotte Bronte, one of my favorite writers. They had the manuscript to Jane Eyre, which was open to the famous scene between Jane and Mr. Rochester where he proposes. Before realizing that Mr. Rochester intends to marry her, Jane says: "I am no bird, and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will." Jane Eyre is one of my favorite characters because she is so strong willed. Charlotte Bronte took great pride in the fact that contemporary critics couldn't tell if she was a man or a woman, and she wrote that she wanted to be judged as a writer, so it didn't matter whether she was man or woman.

Only professional portrait of Charlotte Bronte done during her lifetime (other than a portrait by her brother)

I really enjoyed the trip (not all the driving, though). It seems somehow appropriate to close with these words from FDR's prayer address on June 6, 1944 (D Day):

And, O Lord, Give us Faith. Give us Faith in Thee; Faith in our sons; Faith in each other; Faith in our united crusade. Let not the keeness of our spirit ever be dulled. Let not the impact of temporary events, of temporal matters of but fleeting moment -- let not these deter us in our unconquerable purpose.

Keep the faith, be brave and be bold. There is so much to enjoy in life.