Let's Talk About It

Sex.  It's not really a word most Mormons are comfortable discussing in public.  Myself included.  But since it's "just us girls" tonight while the men are at Priesthood session of General Conference, let's talk about it.  Sex Education is a vitally important public health issue.  This is especially true for women!  Stephen Colbert was joking about one of the recent attempts to limit access to birth control, and he noted that there's only one way to avoid becoming pregnant: "Be a man."  The joke reveals that often the consequences of sex seem to fall disproportionately on women and girls.

So, one of the reasons that I'm not voting for Mitt Romney is that he thinks "abstinence only" sex education is what should be taught in public schools.  That is simply bad public health policy no matter how you slice it.  Recent studies of "abstinence only" programs have found that it DOES NOT discourage teenagers from having sex.  It actually just discourages teenagers from having SAFE sex.  Abstinence education doesn't work.

Believe me when I say, I do believe in personal abstinence.  Mormons follow the law of chastity, which means no sex before marriage.  But as my conservative friends are always telling me, government can't force people to do things.  The government can't force teenagers or anyone else to do this.  What it can do, is equip young Americans with the knowledge to have safe sex if they are going to have sex.

I think a lot of Mormons are uncomfortable with sex education because, deep down, we feel like it is encouraging people to have sex before marriage.  Somehow, we think that we are transmitting the message to our kids that "it's okay, everybody's doing it."  I've heard this analogy several times, but I think it's helpful to think of comprehensive sex education as a tetanus shot.  We all get our tetanus shots (and other immunizations) and once I have kids you can bet I will be signing them up for these shots too.  Giving your kids tetanus shots  doesn't encourage them to step on rusty nails.  But in the event they do, it gives them protection.  I encourage you to think of sex education the same way - it doesn't encourage kids to have sex (and this has been statistically proven), but it does encourage them to have safe sex - reducing unwanted pregnancies (and abortions!) and decreasing risks of STDs.

Don't know why I picked this topic.  But there you go.

Crushing the DREAM

"What happens to a dream deferred?" asked Langston Hughes in his famous poem.  He theorized that it could "sag like a heavy load" or "explode."  The immigration issue in American politics seems to be a hot-button one. Many people feel strongly that illegal immigrants should be given a chance to come out of the shadows and pursue their dreams.  Others have a strong "Americans First" policy and oppose all forms of amnesty, instead focusing on deportation of illegal immigrants and border security.

This post is the first in the "Why I'm Not Voting for Mitt Romney" series (see the ground rules here in my original post).  I'd like to talk about why I disagree with Governor Romney on immigration.  Governor Romney opposes the Development, Relief, and Education for Alien Minors Act (aka the DREAM Act).  You can read about the details of this proposed bill here.  This bill would allow children, whose parents brought them here illegally when they were children, to attend college or join the military in the U.S. and put them on a path towards citizenship.  An aside here, I think for once, a cause I support has hit upon an apt name for this bill that makes it difficult for opponents to speak against it.  Who wants to crush dreams?  Yet, Governor Romney opposes the DREAM Act, saying it would increase illegal immigration and be an amnesty.

First of all, the DREAM Act would apply only to those illegal immigrants who have been in the U.S. for five years already.  I don't see how we can encourage illegal immigration when these people are already here.  Secondly, as Mormons, "[w]e believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression" (Articles of Faith 2).  Not supporting the DREAM Act seems to be punishing children for the sins of their parents.  The DREAM Act applies to illegal immigrants who were brought here when they were minors.  Do you really think that a three year old is culpable for the transgressions of his or her parents? 

Some of the stated reasons that people have opposed this bill include that it will require states to grant instate tuition to illegal aliens or require taxpayers to fund the education of these students.  However, the latest versions of the bill have not included provisions regarding in-state tuition.  Also, the program would stipulate that these students would not be eligible for federal grants.

More broadly, opposition to "amnesty" for illegal immigrants seems wrong to me.  Do you really think these people are just going to go away?  Many of them have lived in the United States for years, and see it as their home.  They are not simply going to leave.  People who oppose bills to grant illegal immigrants citizenship seem to think that these people had some kind of choice between coming here legally and coming here illegally.  The simple truth is that many more people want to come to America than are allowed to come legally by the current immigration system.  If you were living in poverty with no opportunities for education or jobs, wouldn't you want to come to America, even if it meant breaking the law?  It's a dangerous thing to do, but wouldn't you risk it for your family?

We Mormons believe in obeying the law.  However, giving these people a chance at citizenship does not have to mean that they are not punished for breaking the law - they should pay a fine, pay back taxes, and get in line behind those who followed the rules.  I believe that the punishment should be commensurate with the crime, and exporting people to a life of crushing poverty and zero opportunity seems a heavy price to pay for crossing a man-made border to improve one's life.  

Increasing border security, while it may seem like a good goal, is somewhat of a red herring.  We will never be able to fully secure our borders from anyone - there's just too much territory to cover, and too many ways that people can come here legally and stay illegally.

To be fair, Governor Romney does support increasingly legal immigration, which is laudable.  However, I just can't support his position on the DREAM Act.  This is a chance for innocent people to become educated or support our armed forces.  For this among many reasons, Governor Romney will not be getting my support this November.

Why I Won't Vote for Mitt Romney (Even Though I Just Did)

I've decided to do a series of posts about why I am not going to vote for Mitt Romney (who I think will be the eventual Republican nominee).  This message is somewhat undercut, however, by the fact that I actually voted for Governor Romney in my state's primary today.  I know this is completely and utterly the wrong reason to vote for someone, but nonetheless it was cool to be able to vote for a fellow Mormon.  I'd feel the same way voting for Harry Reid (actually, I'd probably feel better about voting for Harry Reid, who should probably get his own series of posts).

The point is, I voted for Mitt Romney as the lesser of three evils.  Of those Republican candidates still standing, I think Mitt Romney would make the best president.  Plus, I promised my roommate I would vote for Romney if Santorum or Gingrich were still in the race by Super Tuesday.

However, stack Romney up against Barack Obama, and I feel it's a pretty obvious choice on who to vote for.  Romney and I share cultural and religious history, but my political beliefs line up on President Obama's side.  So I'm going to do a series of posts on why I'm not voting for Romney.  Before I start, I want to make two ground rules very clear:

(1) Mitt Romney is a good guy.  I don't have anything against him other than policy positions.  He seems to be a genuinely good husband, father, and friend.  I truly admire his faithfulness to his wife throughout her battle with M.S. (*cough cough* unlike Newt Gingrich *ahem*).  This series will simply be used to lay out the political issues on which Governor Romney and I disagree.

(2) While I may quote scripture or modern-day prophets in these posts, I do not make a claim that my political belief system is the only "Mormon" perspective or that my political beliefs are inherently "true."  I think that Mormons can be Republicans, Democrats, Independents or anything in between.  Politics and religion intersect for me because they both stem from my personal beliefs which are deeply held but which should never be forced on others.  In not voting for Governor Romney, I am not judging his righteousness or adherence to the beliefs of Mormonism (see point #1).

Next up: topics.  I'm thinking about doing a post later this week on immigration and how my views differ from Governor Romney's, but I would welcome any suggestions as to what types of policies I should examine.  I hope also to include some posts about areas where I agree with Romney.

Railing for Railing

I think it's some kind of syndrome when you look back at the "good old days."  Whoever thought I would be saying that about the 2000's?  But it seems that, for whatever, reason, this election has been exceedingly negative already. I'm sure the general election will be even worse!  The Washington Post had an article about how negative the campaign is, so I guess there is some empirical evidence to validate my "good old days" syndrome.  I was reminded of this by a scripture I heard quoted this morning in church:

Some were lifted up in pride, and others were exceedingly humble; some did return railing for railing, while others would receive railing and persecution and all manner of afflictions, and would not turn and revile again, but were humble and penitent before God. (3 Nephi 6:13)

Why don't we value this type of behavior in our politicians?  Every politician of the current era seems to be the kind that would "return railing for railing" - ratcheting up the negativity until it's a wonder we don't see the debates turn into a blood-bath (especially with all the love of guns that goes on in the Republican debates...but that's probably another post).  I think it probably has something to do with the process - no decent person wants to be subject to all this negativity, so it's a reinforcing cycle.  How can we encourage this type of behavior?  Should we be seeking or expecting this type of humble attitude from our presidential candidates?  

Love is a Many Splendored Thing

I know, I know.  Today is the day I’m supposed to fit the stereotype of a shrewish, bitter single woman simply because I’m single.* It’s the day when I’m required by every movie convention to drown my sorrows in chocolate.  But in reality, for today at least, I think it’s wonderful that we have a whole holiday celebrating love.  To quote from South Pacific, one of my favorite Broadway musicals, “love is a grand and beautiful thing.”  Love is great, and you don’t have to be “in a relationship” to give or receive love. 

True story: one day I was carrying in some heavy groceries, and thinking to myself, in a self-pitying kind of way, “I wish I had a boyfriend/husband to carry these in for me.”  Literally at that moment, a friend came up behind me and started to help carry the groceries.  I’m grateful for the love of my friends and family, who help me carry burdens even though I am too independent to ask for help.  I’m grateful for the love of my Heavenly Father and Mother.  I’m grateful for the ultimate love of Jesus Christ and his self-sacrifice for all of us. 

So, I wish you all a very happy Valentine’s day!  If you are in a relationship, do something kind and loving for your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife.  If you’re not, take time to tell your friends you love them!  And remember, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence – we single people long to be married and some married people long to be single:

Love who you are!  Be happy and have JOY J

*Actually, I’m shrewish and bitter 365 days a year, ‘cause I’m a feminist – ba doop ching!  Kidding!  Mostly.

Molly-ness

On this blog I've blogged about being Mormon, and a Democrat, but I don't think I've blogged about my "molly-ness" before.  Urban dictionary defines a "molly mormon" thusly: "A female member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon) who fits the stereo type of the goody-goody Mormon. She's very devoted to the Church standards. Can be used both negatively and positively."

Sometimes the term really denotes a goody-two-shoes type of Mormon who is self-righteous.  When I chose the blog title "Molly Mormon Democrat," it wasn't because I am particularly righteous or because I think myself better than the average Mormon (those of you who know me, know the contrary is true).  I think of a molly Mormon more as a "average" Mormon.  Garrison Keillor likes to joke that in Lake Woebegon "all the children are above average."  Yet I've met many average Mormons, and I love them.

Average Mormons, are the salt of the earth.  They can (and often are) typical, normal people who can also be extraordinarily kind and giving.  That's the type of "average" Mormon I want to be.  Being that type of Mormon has nothing to do with political affiliation, and everything to do with the great "change of heart" that is required to move aside our selfish selves and love others sincerely.

Reminds me of a scene from my favorite TV show, "The West Wing."  Some presidential staffers are arguing about a poll question which labels the person taking the poll as "average:"

JOSH LYMAN: "When making policy decisions, do you think that President Bartlet puts the needs of average people first?" "Average people" is a pejorative phrase and occurs about six times in the polling model.

 C.J. CREGG: This may come as a shock to you, but 80% of the people in this country would use the word "average" to describe themselves. They do not find the term deprecating. Indeed, being considered an "average American" is something they find to be positive and comforting.


Indeed, being an average Mormon is something I find positive and comforting.  It doesn't mean we are perfect, but it does mean we have good company in our quest to be better.

To Dream The Impossible Dream

Each of us has dreams - unfulfilled wishes and hopes for the future.  So here's my inspirational thought today: keep dreaming that "impossible dream"!



Hold Fast to Your Dreams
Hold fast your dreams!
Within your heart
Keep one still, secret spot
Where dreams may go,
And, sheltered so,
May thrive and grow
Where doubt and fear are not.
O keep a place apart,
Within your heart,
For little dreams to go!

Think still of lovely things that are not true.
Let wish and magic work at will in you.
Be sometimes blind to sorrow. Make believe!
Forget the calm that lies
In disillusioned eyes.
Though we all know that we must die,
Yes you and I
May walk like gods and be
Even now at home in immortality.

We see so many ugly things—
Deceits and wrongs and quarrelings;
We know, alas we know
How quickly fade
The color in the west,
The bloom upon the flower,
The bloom upon the breast
And youth's blind hour.
Yet keep within your heart
A place apart
Where little dreams may go,
May thrive and grow.
Hold fast—hold fast your dreams!

- Louise Driscoll