A Year in Review

Remember the good old days of 2013? Neither do I. It's been a whirlwind year, as witnessed by the fact that I still haven't posted any pictures of my Ireland trip. Maybe I'll finally be able to get up a post about that in 2014. However, I wanted to end the year by reporting on my New Year's resolution from January. My one resolution for the year was to Be Happy.

Yesterday while cleaning out my room I found my list of "What Makes Me Happy?" and "What Makes Me Unhappy?" I've been successful in increasing some of the stuff from the happy list, but haven't made much headway in removing or mitigating some of the unhappy influences. On the list, I wrote the following at the bottom (I was so wise in January, what happened?): "Overarching question: What does God want me to do?"

In May, I got a new calling* in church. It's something that I would never have volunteered for, and I remain convinced that I'm pretty terrible at it, even after more than half a year of practice. But as I think about it (and pray about it), I realize it's what God wants me to do. That seems really simplistic, but it doesn't make the calling any easier, or does it help me on a practical level know what to do with the calling.

Sometimes we know the "big picture" of what God wants us to do, but he doesn't give us every stepping stone along the way. Like "being happy" we may get a broad theme but the daily decisions are left up to us. This can be incredibly frustrating or incredibly liberating. I tend to find it the former, but the decisions we make hopefully help us grow into better, kinder people. I keep waiting for the "Calling Fairy" to come tap me on the shoulder and fill me with knowledge of how to serve. It hasn't happened yet, so I keep "muddling through." As I think about goals for 2014, I'm stumped. I still want to be happy, of course, but I feel like that goal was too broad and vague for a full year.

Reading this post at the Mormon blog "By Common Consent" really touched me, especially #2 of the five goals. I think the author is right about home and visiting teaching.** I think it's key to ministering and loving others. So maybe my goal for 2014 will be to be a good visiting teacher. It's a simple, somewhat measurable goal, and I think serving others really does bring me joy. So, I'll give it a shot. More to come on some other 2014 goals in future posts.

In the meantime, what are you doing tonight to celebrate the New Year?

"What are you doing New Year's Eve?" Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Leavitt

*"Calling" is Mormonspeak for a church responsibility - teaching, administering, or serving in any church capacity, because the Mormon church is run by volunteers at the local and regional level
**Home and visiting teaching are programs of the Mormon church whereby you are assigned to visit people who you may or may not know on a monthly basis. Your job is to serve and love them.

Most WonderFULL Time of the Year

Last night after wrapping what I thought was my final present (whoops...missed one), I realized I hadn't set out my full manger scene. At that point, it was past midnight so it was technically Christmas Eve. "What a perfect metaphor for my life," I thought, "I've forgotten the true meaning of Christmas amidst all the trappings of the season." I got out the pieces, and assembled them on my dresser. I like this particular manger set only because I've had it for a long time (15 years at least). The figures are all children, which is cute. It's a cheap ceramic set but I love it.

This Christmas has been a busy one for a lot of reasons, and I've felt a lot of guilt about forgetting the most important things. December has been FULL to the brim and I have felt pretty sleep deprived. I lurch from one thing to the next and haven't really been good about prioritizing. However, this month I've also had some really wonderful experiences. Because most of these revolve around music, I can share some of these experiences with you.

Of the 107,000 videos of this Mormon message on YouTube, I think I've caused half of them.  It's been my sanity check to remind me to give my heart to service - to NOTICE others who need help and to actually act on it. FYI, at the end of the song there's an opportunity to download a free copy.


"What Shall We Give?" Mormon Tabernacle Choir

My church Christmas program featured this lovely "Poverty Carol," which has beautiful lyrics you can read here. The phrase "come all men who stumble" really struck me.


"Poverty Carol," Palos Verdes High School Chamber Choir

My dad also sang this peppy carol in a quartet in church, I loved it:


"Glad Noel," Lorna Linda Jr. High Choir

I discovered Francesca Battistelli's Christmas album, which I like.


"Heaven Everywhere," Francesca Battistelli


"Christmas Is," Francesca Battistelli

Ballet at Christmastime means the Nutcracker, and thanks to work, I got to see a fantastic version this year (not the one linked below, but still great).


"Russian Dance" from the Nutcracker, Performed by the Mariinsky Ballet

The capstone experience was going to a Messiah sing-a-long and being surrounded by people singing those beautiful words.  I don't think I had ever focused so much on the words when I listened to Handel's Messiah, but there are some beautiful scriptures which make up the text of that piece. I especially loved singing the names of Christ: "Wonderful, Counselor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father."


"Hallelujah Chorus" from Handel's Messiah, Sung by the Harlem Gospel Choir

As I was rushing around today on last errands, I saw a beautiful sunset. It reminded me of the lyrics to a non-Christmas song, Amazing Grace.  "Oh it is wonderful, that he should care for me, enough to die for me, O it is wonderful, wonderful to me." It is indeed a wonderful time of year to remember the Saviour, and all he has done for us. It's a time that can remind us of our inadequacies (we can never quite do EVERYTHING we plan to do), but can also fill us with wonder at the glory and mercy of God.


"Amazing Grace," Soweto Gospel Choir

Feminism and Femi Nazism

Note: I started this first paragraph long ago, and I can't remember what the original point of the post was going to be, but I made the ending up!

On one of the many standardized tests I took in school, I remember the informational section asked you to list your parents' educational attainments.  For my father, it was easy, I knew he had completed law school, so I carefully filled in the bubble next to "post-graduate degree" with my No. 2 pencil.  For my mother, however, I paused, hovering over the pre-printed circles.  I know she graduated college, I thought to myself, but did she have a post-graduate degree?  Unsure, I filled in "college degree" and resolved to ask her when I got home.  When I did, I discovered that my mom does indeed have a Masters degree in education.

Society still seems to value the important work of motherhood less than other occupations. You don't get social security credit for raising children, or really any of the societal status that comes with working "outside the home."  My mom is a smart woman who I'm sure could have been a great teacher, school superintendent, or anything else she really wanted to be. I was lucky that she choose to waste spend her time with me instead.

I'm all about supporting women who make the choice to be moms. It's a really tough job, and I admire so many of my friends who make that sacrifice (though I don't know if they would term it a sacrifice, and I don't mean anything derogatory by use of that term).  But the important thing to note about this is that it's a choice. Some women who do have children work outside the home. Whether it's out of economic necessity or their own volition, working women don't love their children any less. I work with some pretty amazing women who have chosen to be moms and accountants, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I don't think I've said anything above that hasn't been said before (and better) by others, but the point I want to underscore here is that both stay-at-home moms and working moms are really feminists. Feminism is about making choices and owning those choices - it's about giving women every opportunity to grow and develop in whatever path they choose. Feminism says that if a woman can run a household, she can run a country, and vice versa. There are trade-offs and opportunity costs that come with each road, but feminism is about giving women more roads than one.

Just a side note about one of the worst straw-man arguments against feminism. Feminism is not some kind of femi-nazi cult requiring all women to "be like men" or even to be the same. Feminism is about unlocking the potential greatness of 50% of the world's population, recognizing the talent and abilities of each women, and removing the conscious and unconscious roadblocks to success that hinder the progression of women (and, by extension, hinder the progression of men too!). I'm lucky that my college educated mother read to us, cooked for us, and generally put up with us in the house for 18+ years. I'm grateful she was also a feminist who taught me to think for myself.

I'll end with a clip from the movie "Mona Lisa Smiles" about choosing a "traditional" woman's role.


Scene from "Mona Lisa Smiles," - Julia Roberts and Julia Stiles "You told me I could be anything I wanted"

(Em)pathetic

3 things have recently gotten me thinking about empathy:

1) Nick Kristof's recent column on the demise of empathy. ( http://mobile.nytimes.com/2013/11/28/opinion/kristof-where-is-the-love.html?smid=tw-share)

2) A column in the Huffington Post about the hopelessness of being poor in America. (http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4326233)

3) News story about a Mormon bishop who dressed as a homeless man. (http://www.npr.org/2013/11/29/247825783/costumed-as-homeless-mormon-bishop-teaches-a-lesson-in-compassion?ft=1&f=1001&utm_content=socialflow&utm_campaign=nprnews&utm_source=npr&utm_medium=twitter)

These three stories have reminded me that empathy, or seeing ourselves in another's shoes, is fundamentally important in both religion and politics.  Religion brings together people with different experiences.  Politics often forces us to face people who disagree with us.  In both situations, we need the humility born of empathy to see others and understand them.

King Benjamin in the Book of Mormon teaches a powerful lesson about empathy for the poor:

Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just
But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.
For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?

This scripture reminds me that I too am a beggar, and need to treat others who find themselves in difficult circumstances as I would want to be treated.  We may disagree on steps to help the poor, but I hope we can do so while agreeing on measures to assist those who live without hope.  I believe food stamps and other social safety next programs are vitally important to children and other innocent victims of poverty.

Apologies for the terrible links in this post, my internet isn't working this evening, so I had to resort to an app to post from my phone.  Hope they work!

Grateful

I have a hard time being grateful for things I don't like.  Experiences that are hard don't really bring gratitude to mind.  But really, trials make us gratefuller (is that a word?) for the good times.  We also grow in empathy for others through hardship. 

Don't know why I am posting about trials after a perfectly lovely thanksgiving, but I do think I am ultimately grateful for hard times.  This usually happens long after the trial or tribulation, but it usually happens.  It's a hard fought gratitude, and hopefully more worth the earning because of it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

Make sure that you, like President Bartlet, call the Butterball Hotline with any questions you may have regarding turkey preparation.

Minority/Majority Report

Late this week, Harry Reid, the U.S. Senate Majority leader invoked what some have termed the "nuclear option." This means that instead of requiring 60 votes to confirm the President's nominees, the Senate will simply need a majority (51). Of course, Democrats currently think this is a great idea, as they hold a majority in the Senate, and President Obama is also a Democrat. As has been rightly pointed out, they will likely feel differently when Republicans control the Senate and there is a Republican president.  

In this situation I don't think there's an absolute moral right here, but it does put a spotlight on the inherent tension between majority and minority rights in our democracy. This conflict is all over our constitution. The Bill of Rights prevents majorities from controlling minorities. Freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and freedom of the press protects unpopular movements or sentiments - popular opinions don't really need protection. For all our extolling our constitutional forefathers, many of them used "mob rule" as a bogeyman, and feared rule by the uneducated "common man" majority. 

Tension between majority and minority rights is baked into the structure of our government. The House of Representatives, or lower house of Congress, represents the people while the Senate is supposed to be a step removed from the people. Even the President isn't directly elected, instead chosen by electors. The Supreme Court in its isolated perch is the farthest removed from public opinion, supposedly allowing it to protect the rights of unpopular minorities. 

I believe Mormons should be one of the biggest supporters of minority unpopular groups. Early in our history, members of our church were beaten, driven, and in some cases murdered for espousing unpopular opinions. This history should make us defenders of opinions we disagree with. At one time or another, each of us will be part of a minority group, so while we are part of a majority we must protect minority rights. The only way we can make sure our religious freedom is protected is to protect others' freedoms to believe (or not believe). 

The debate about the nuclear option shows the power of a minority. Democrats have pointed out that of all the filibusters of nominees in the history of America, over half of them have been on Obama's nominees. See the graph below showing the number of filibusters over time. Mitch McConnell, minority leader in the Senate, has really used the power of the filibuster to block Obama's choices to head agencies, or even delay confirming nominees (the statistics show that the average Obama nominee waits 100 days longer than George W. Bush's nominees). Democrats rightly argued that Republicans were using the filibuster and other delaying tactics to oppose even non-controversial nominees. Minorities can abuse their power just as much as majorities can.

I think both parties have used the filibuster to do stupid things. However, blaming the filibuster is blaming the symptom of the problem, not the actual problem. The actual problem is a refusal to compromise and work together. The dysfunction in our government is present because of stubborn pig-headed-ness on each side of the aisle. It's a refusal to work with or hear the other side's arguments. Democrats were driven to it by obstructionism on the other side, but I think they would have been just as obstructionist in the current climate if they had been in the minority. I think this needed to happen simply to get some of the machinery of government working again, but it's sad that it needed to happen.