And They Shall Run...

Have you ever seen the movie "Dinner for Schmucks"?  There is a part in the movie where Steve Carrell's character (Barry) unknowingly truncates a quote from the song "Imagine" by John Lennon.

Barry: In the words of John Lennon, "you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not."

Tim: ...the only one.
Barry: The only what?
Tim: No, that's the lyric: "You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."
Barry: Oh, OK Tim.

I thought (and still think) that this quote is hilarious.  "You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not."  

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the promise contained in Doctrine & Covenants 89:20, "And they shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint."  This promise is given in relation to the Word of Wisdom (aka the Mormon Law of Health - no tea/coffee/tobacco, eat your veggies, eat meat sparingly).  The reason I've been thinking about this is that lately I have felt like this:

Running.  Running all the time but not getting anywhere I want to be.  In other  words, I'm getting in the running but still feeling weary.  Why isn't this promise coming true for me (besides the fact that I could be better at the eating veggies and little meat part of the word of wisdom)?  Well, I think it's connected to another verse about running, found in the Book of Mormon.  King Benjamin teaches in Mosiah 4:27: "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order."  So we can only be blessed with a weary-free life if we are not trying to run faster than we have strength to run.  This probably goes back to my genetic inability to say "no" to things.  You might say that "I'm Just a Girl Who Cain't Say No."

So maybe I just need to learn to say "no" to things when I already have a lot on my plate and am feeling overwhelmed.  This doesn't seem very likely, but it has to be better than the weariness that has seeped into my bones.  I just don't know what to give up on!  I need to remember that the Word of Wisdom says that we need to both run AND walk.  Sometimes we need to take life slow even if there are many many good things we could be running around doing.

After re-reading this post, I am also reminded of what of the most unpleasant aspects of my personality - I have a tendency to wallow in my problems.  If I feel weary and over-run, it is my own fault.  

It reminds me of a scene in "The Grapes of Wrath" where Tom Joad meets a man with only one eye.  The man is complaining about his status in life and wallowing in his own self-created misery because he hates his life.  Tom responds: "Now look-a-here, fella.  You got that eye wide open.  An' ya dirty, ya stink.  Ya' just askin' for it.  Ya like it.  Lets ya feel sorry for yaself.  'Course ya  can't get no woman with that empty eye flappin' aroun'.  Put sompin over it an' wash ya face...."

So, that's me: a wallower.  Someone who enjoys holding on to problems of my own making.  I know, it's lazy and selfish, but I guess it's just a night where I'm exhausted and plumb wore out.  It's not attractive...but I'm too tired to come up with a different post.