Fresh Courage Take

 My dog, Daisy, does not deal well with the unexpected. Garbage can on the sidewalk instead of the curb? She barks at it! A neighbor who she's seen many times before wears a new hat? Barking time! A construction vehicle is parked at the end of the street we walk down? She goes crazy! Daisy is not the smartest dog (yet also not the dumbest), but she barks at these perceived threats as a way of warning me and everyone else about them. She barks because she doesn't really know what else to do when confronted with a new situation. Now, I can't really explain to her that she doesn't need to fear these things, because I don't speak Dog. If I did, I could convince her to stop barking at every mail or UPS truck that drives past our front window.

So far, the best way of dealing with it is to tell Daisy in a soothing voice, "it's going to be okay." Then, I let her approach the garbage can/stationary vehicle/person and let her sniff and see it up close. She is usually able to determine that this person or thing is not a threat to her (except in the case of trucks, which she still views as mortal enemies for some reason). 

In some ways I am not unlike Daisy. I also don't do well with change. My life is pretty safe and comfortable, and I don't really go out of my way to step outside my comfort zone. Drastic change takes courage, and I lack either the willpower or strength to strike out bravely into the unknown. 

In the novel "To Kill A Mockingbird," the character Atticus Finch defines courage as "...when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what." That isn't a quality I really find in myself. What is the source of that type of courage, and how do I get me some of that?

The title of this post is taken from the Mormon hymn "Come, Come, Ye Saints," which was written by Mormon poet William Clayton. The third verse reads, in part: "Gird up your loins, fresh courage take./Our God will never us forsake." Clayton wrote the poem in Winter Quarters, Nebraska, before he set out as part of the first group of saints to head to the Salt Lake Valley. Along the way, he was assigned to chart the progress of the company and measure distances, partially in order to help the thousands of others who would also be making the journey. Initially, he counted the revolutions of the wheel by hand and used the wheel's circumference to measure distances. Eventually, with the help of others, Clayton invented a wagon odometer that would number the wheel revolutions.

The courage of the pioneers was measured one step or one wagon wheel revolution at a time. They just kept moving forward (in some ways, they didn't really have a choice). And really, the only way to take that fresh courage that we each need is to keep walking forward, one step at a time, even when we know we're licked before we begin. It reminds me of the final scene of the movie "The Martian," where Matt Damon's character is teaching a group of potential astronauts about how to survive the dangers of space: "At some point everything is going to go south on you. Everything is going to go south and you're going to say 'This is it. This is how I end.' Now you can either accept that or you can get to work. That's all it is. You just begin. You do the math, you solve one problem. Then you solve the next one, and then the next and if you solve enough problems you get to come home."

Easter is usually associated (rightly) with hope. But this Easter, I'm wishing you courage for whatever challenges, changes, or obstacles you face. Gird up your loins, fresh courage take! Keep walking forward. Maybe I can do the same.

The Underrated Virtue of Duty

There is one very grumpy lady who I encountered on my mission, who I think of often. She would come to church with her teenage daughter, and sit on the very front row, but she was unwilling to engage with anyone. When I was new to the area, I approached her to welcome her, and she waved me off, saying "I'm only here because I promised Elder So-and-so, who baptized me, that I would come to church."

Now, I'm not saying that is the BEST reason to go to church. It's definitely not! But, as I get older, I've come to realize that being dutiful or doing something out of duty is an underrated virtue. We will all go through periods of "I'm just not feeling it." This can happen in work, relationships, and of course, church. But if we push through those periods, we can get through them, and often realize how valuable that experience or relationship is to us. 

A wise bishop once told me that his testimony wasn't some steady line that was always increasing. It zigged and zagged with a hopefully (eventual) upward trajectory. I've taken comfort in that during periods where I struggle with things. There are Sundays like today, where I go to church and even though it was a good meeting in many respects, I didn't have some amazing spiritual experience or uplifting conversation. Sometimes I struggle to feel like I belong in a church with a strong emphasis on marriage and children (I have neither, which makes me an outlier in my current congregation). 

But, wisely or unwisely, I keep showing up. Sometimes it is duty that gets me in the pews, and that's okay. I'm hopefully slightly less grumpy about it than the lady I met on my mission. Eventually it leads me to serving and loving others, which I firmly believe is the purpose of the gospel/church/religion in general.

Note: I don't judge anyone who doesn't find duty a compelling motivator for church attendance or anything else. I'm also certainly not suggesting a Gospel of Masochism where we do things as unthinking drones or drudges. But, I am suggesting that duty can get us through the "not fun" part of something that is important.

On "Not Wanting to Be Bishop"

One of the book clubs I'm in recently read the book "The Priesthood Power of Women: In The Temple, Church, and Family" by Barbara Gardner, a BYU professor. During our (Zoom) book club meeting, we discussed whether we think women would ever hold the priesthood. One of the women made the comment "I don't want to be Bishop." It's a comment I've heard many times from female members of the Church.

Well, ANY member of the church, male or female, who *wants* to be a Bishop probably shouldn't be. Wanting power is pretty antithetical to the gospel of Jesus Christ, in my opinion - leadership is about service, not seeking for a particular office or calling.

As someone who personally believes that women will someday hold the priesthood, I really want to engage with this "I don't want to be Bishop" sentiment. Wanting women to have the priesthood isn't about "taking away" something from men. It's not about a power grab where I want women to have control over others' lives. It's about wanting women to have ability to grow spiritually and exercise all their spiritual gifts.

It's not about ME wanting to be Bishop (I've had administrative callings enough to know I'd be a terrible Bishop) - it's about looking at women who are phenomenal Relief Society presidents and YW Presidents and Sunday School teachers, and saying THEY should be bishops. Wards would be blessed by women serving in priesthood roles.

Saying "I don't want to be Bishop" I think fails to engage in the fundamental questions: if God loves men and women equally (and I hope/pray that most Church members agree that He does), why do we have a leadership structure that relies heavily on male members of the church? Aren't we missing the wisdom and experiences of many of our members by having a gender-specific priesthood? If the goal is for men and women to achieve exaltation and become like God, aren't women going to exercise the power of God (i.e. the priesthood)?

That actually leads back to my main beef with Gardner's book. While it had some good insights, I think fundamentally the book an exercise in the mental gymnastics required to reconcile an unequal power structure with equality amongst the sexes. Essentially it felt to me like we are trying to come up with a justification for a system rather than engaging with the fact that the system is unequal and asking God if that's really what he wants. Does God really not want women to be Bishops? If so, why?

Anyway, it's been on my mind and thought I'd get this down while I was thinking about it.

Raise The Stakes

Here's the scripture I was thinking about in Church today, even though it had nothing to do with the topics being discussed:

Isaiah 54:2: Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes;

Perhaps you have always considered that scripture to be about the geographic reach of the Church. That is certainly how I interpreted it as a missionary in a far-flung area with few church members. To me it has signified that the "tent" of the church increases in size as more physical areas have missionaries/churches/temples. In my mission area there are still cities without missionaries - this is one way that the church "tent" has the potential to increase in size.

But as I thought about it today, the scripture can have another meaning that hadn't occurred to me before today. It was partially inspired by reading this blog post on the Exponent blog. As the author of the post mentions, many members (including me) find it sad when someone leaves the Church. I feel a lot of sympathy with the author - I don't know all her specific reasons for leaving the church, but I am sure it was a wrenching choice, as she describes. 

Yet as I pondered on this author's words, I realized that one reason I was sad was that I feel like the Church will miss the richness of her experience. It's a selfish sadness, but one that I feel whenever I learn someone has left the Church. Even if I'm not in their ward or stake, the Church as a whole will miss out on their insights, wisdom, and experience. 

I wonder if part of "enlarging our church tent" is making room for many different kinds of belief and non-belief. For example, is there a place in the church for those who don't believe the events in the Book of Mormon literally took place on the American continent? How about those who struggle with an all-male church leadership? Or our LGBTQ brothers and sisters who feel like they have to choose between two parts of themselves? I do hope that the tent of gospel love can encompass them all.

Mission: Possible?

I wanted to post about Activity Days Camp, because it was a good time. For those uninitiated, "Activity Days" is the name of my church's activities for girls ages 8-11. For the past year or so, I've been helping to plan these activities. Before we take a break for the summer, we have a day camp for three days, and this year we had an awesome camp!

The theme this year was from Luke 1:37: "For with God, nothing shall be impossible." As we are near DC (and I have Pinterest) this translated to "Mission: Possible" with a "Secret Agent" theme.

Our first day was at the church building all day. For the first activity as the girls were arriving, they got "passports" and got to pick a Secret Agent name from a jar of adjectives/nouns.

Passports, made out of construction paper and "modge podge"

Set up outside the room when the girls arrived

For the record, my code name was the "Gentle Panda" which was pretty hilarious to me for some reason - maybe it's because panda describes my body physique pretty well. I used this blog post for the badges inside the passports, which also had some good ideas for adjectives/nouns for code names. Throughout the day, we had stamps that the girls got in their passports for each of the activities.

Our opening spiritual thought was on faith and we adapted this lesson from MormonActivityDays.com, which has some good lesson and activity ideas. I liked the idea about the apple seeds.

We then split the girls into two groups and switched between two activities - a cooking class and craft class. The cooking class made pumpkin chocolate chip muffins. While the muffins were baking they also did a "secret agent" activity where they had to guess what a fruit was by smelling it (the bowls were covered with tinfoil so they couldn't see what was inside). The craft class got to do two crafts - homemade bath bombs (inside Easter eggs!) and decorating sunglasses with beads/sunflowers/puff balls and hot glue guns. Both activities were lots of fun, and not pictured because I try not to post pictures of other people's children on the internet.

THE SCAVENGER HUNT!
I don't know why, but Primary leadership had asked us to somehow incorporate Family History into the camp, and so I came up with a fun activity (basically a Frankenstein monster of parts of this blog post and this blog post). The girls did a "Scavenger Hunt" with clues all over the church building. At each clue, the girls got another piece of their "puzzle" which was one of these blank puzzles that I had traced a blank family tree on to - each girl had her own puzzle with her name written on the back of all her pieces.

We divided the girls into two teams so they could race and gave each team a "clue box" with helpful resources to solve clues along the way. The clue box included Articles of Faith Cards for each team member, magnifying glasses, invisible ink pens, normal pens, notebooks, small copies of the Children's Songbook, and various decoders mentioned. The girls also got an envelope to collect their puzzle pieces.

Given that we have some very competitive girls, we laid down the following rules BEFORE handing out the clue boxes:
1) The entire team has to stay together (I didn't want the older girls to leave the younger girls behind).
2) Don't go in the Chapel - there are no clues in there (as I knew the girls would be running and yelling, didn't want them to be irreverent in the chapel).
3) Don't disturb the other teams clues (We had a "purple" and "pink" team - they had to leave the other teams clues where they found them...again, our girls are SUPER competitive).
4) Do the clues in order - don't open clues that you may see along the way to your assigned clue.

Here are the stops on the puzzle route:

Clue #1 - Mason Cipher
Both teams received this clue at the beginning as we met in the Relief Society Room. They got a Mason Cipher and a coded message to send them to their next clue (I split the route up so the girls did the clues in different order).

Mason Cipher and Substitution Cipher

Clue #2 - Mirror Image Clue
The team doing the clues in order found their next clue at the High Council Room. This clue was printed in mirror image so they had to go the bathroom to read it, and it sent them to the Bishop's office (idea from this One Creative Mommy blog post, but I didn't use her printout but created my own)

Clue #3
This stretchy word clue (courtesy of this One Creative Mommy blog post) sent them to the fridge in the Kitchen.

Clue #4 - Articles of Faith Fingerprints
This one was entirely my idea (and I'm pretty proud of it) - I made up some "fingerprints" that had the the Articles of Faith in very small type in between the lines of fingerprints. They had to arrange the fingerprints in order and then flip them over to reveal the message sending them to their next location. The message was "It is time to ACT" - this sent them to the stage for their next clue.

Fingerprints Clue!

Clue #5 -  Scytale Cipher
At the stage was a long strip of paper with their next clue - this one was hard for them to figure out, but both teams eventually realized that in their clue box was a paper towel tube, and if they wrapped the strip of paper around it, it sent them to their next destination: the Young Women's room. This was another clue idea from the One Creative Mommy post linked above.

Clue #6 - Article of Faith Recitation
In this room they had to figure out which two Articles of Faith have the same number of words, and then recite them in unison to the Leader we had stationed in this room - she verbally told them where to go next. For the record, Article of Faith #1 and #12 both have 18 words, and Article of Faith #9 and #11 both have 32 words, so there were two possible answers. This clue was a good place to split the teams, but the team doing the clues in order went on to the Primary room next.

Clue #7 - Substitution Clue
In the Primary room the girls were given a sheet with values like "B1" - which corresponded to grids in their substitution cipher (pictured above and part of their clue box). Once decoded, this clue sent them to the foyer (we had to specify which one because there are two in our building).

Clue #8 - Song clue ("Book Cipher")
For this clue, the girls had to use their Children's Songbooks - they were given a series of three numbers (for example, 18-27-4) which referred to the page number (18), word number (27), and letter of the word (4). That series of numbers spelled out their next clue, which took them to the Nursery.

Clue #9 - Circular Cipher
This was a "wheel within a wheel" cipher, where the clue told the girls to align "A" with a certain Article of Faith so they could decode the clue. Once decoded, the clue led to the Gym.

Clue #10 - Books of the Bible Footprints
Construction paper footprints had books of the Bible on them - they had to arrange them in order, then flip them to spell out the next clue. We were kind and gave them a hint to use song # 114 in the Children's Songbook, which has the books of the bible in order. This clue sent them to one of the Primary classrooms.

Clue #11 - Invisible Ink
This clue was a "blank" sheet of paper that had their clue written in invisible ink. In the clue box they had invisible ink pens I got from this spy set on Amazon (our girls loved having their own pens and notebooks). The pens had a light that revealed what was written in invisible ink, which was a message sending them to the next clue. (Again, this was a good place to split the teams - one team which started with clue #7 was sent back to clue #2).

Clue #12
At this point, the girls had 11 pieces of their 12 piece puzzle as they arrived back to the RS room, where we started. I told them to each start assembling their puzzle and pretty soon they all realized there was a piece missing. They were loudly wondering where the final piece could be, as I was whispering "Look at the Hymnbooks." They had to be quiet in order to listen to what I was saying to discover the final puzzle pieces hidden behind the hymbooks. I really liked using this idea to talk about the role of the Holy Ghost in Family History work and how we need to listen to the still small voice, who can show us where to find the missing pieces. It was an idea I stole from this LDS Activity Days blog post.

This scavenger hunt took A LOT of time - the girls probably spent an hour and 15 minutes on the various clues (especially since I planned the clues to go from one side of the building to the other, so they would use up some energy). Unfortunately we didn't have time for the girls to decorate their individual puzzles with their own family tree, but we let them take them home to decorate. It was also A LOT of work to plan and put the puzzles together - major props to my Dad, who came over the night before camp and helped me organize everything, which meant that I only stayed up til midnight instead of 3 a.m.!

After the scavenger hunt we had lunch - the girls brought their own but we had snacks and drinks for them as well. While they were
having lunch, some leaders went over to a hallway and set up this:

SO COOL, AM I RIGHT?!?! This was just red crepe paper (purchased at the dollar store) taped up along one of our hallways. At the end of the "laser maze" was an envelope for each girl which had in stencil: "TOP SECRET MISSION FOR: ______" and then we put each girl's code name (picked at the beginning of the day, you'll recall from above) on the envelope. Inside each envelope was a pack of gum with a label saying "Your Mission is Possible if you CHEWS to accept it" (I am so corny) and a copy of this secret service activity posted at the Fickle Pickle blog. We played secret agent music (this blog post has a good music list, but our girls' favorite was definitely just the Mission Impossible theme) while the girls navigated the laser maze to retrieve their envelopes and filled them out. We even let them do it again once they had completed their worksheet - they liked being timed to see how fast they could do it. This was probably their favorite activity of the day - we let them do it again while waiting for parents to arrive.

We switched between the laser maze and another service activity tying blankets and making cards for sick kids in the hospital.

The day went by so fast we didn't even have time for water games, but we did play one at the end where I had the two teams fill a water pitcher with a sponge (water relay). Their "reward" for winning was that they got to try to dump the water pitcher on me - I wasn't fast enough to outrun them and did get wet, but it was so hot that I didn't mind!

T-Shirts (Purple is my favorite color, can you tell?)

At the end of the day, we distributed their T-shirts and custom drawstring bags with their name of them. For the T-shirts, I used customink.com, it was easy even for graphically-design-challenged-me to design a shirt. For the bags, I used iron-on paper to transfer this message to the bags (be sure to flip the message so that it comes out right ways once ironed on - I did the first one wrong!).  I was surprised how excited they were to get bags with their name on them - this was definitely a big hit, and they used them for the other days of camp, which made it easy to identify everyone's belongings.

Drawstring Bags (I'm covering up the name...again, don't want to share personal info on the internet)

Day 1 was the most labor intensive - our other days were as follows, in case you're interested:
- Day 2: Indoor ropes course/trampoline park. While this was pricey, it was a lot of fun (we did it last year and the girls all wanted to go again). After a picnic at a local park, we did "paint your own pottery" at a local store, which the girls also enjoyed.
- Day 3: Butterfly Pavilion at the Natural History Museum in DC (the girls LOVED the Metro ride - we had a train to ourselves on the way back and they had A BALL). Then we finished the day with a pizza/pool party at a ward member's house.

Can I just say, it was fun, even if exhausting? I certainly didn't plan this alone (we have 5 AD leaders, and they all helped, along with parents). I'm glad that Activity Days Camp is only three days (unlike Scout Camp, which is 5 days). I'm sad that, effective tomorrow, I'll have a new calling and won't get to work on Activity Days anymore!!!

Happy Birthday, Relief Society!

My last post was about Sarah Granger Kimball, but really she deserves ALL the posts. She's pretty amazing, and there is so much to love about her story. Sarah was one of the instigators of Relief Society when she and Margaret Cook decided they wanted to form a benevolent society to make shirts for temple workers in Nauvoo in 1842. She was a secure woman in her faith - although married to a nonmember, she remained steadfast (eventually her husband, Hiram, converted).

Sarah's husband was killed in a steamship explosion while on his way to serve a mission in Hawaii, but she stayed faithful, serving as a local Relief Society President for 42 years! Now, that is what I would call dedication. One of her most ambitious projects was a Relief Society Hall for the sisters to gather and to sell handicrafts. Her Bishop suggested a site for the hall, but she didn't agree - purchasing and selecting the site herself and laying the cornerstone with her own hands in 1868. Built for the sisters of the Salt Lake 15th Ward, it was the first ever Relief Society building in the church.

In 1870, Sarah was serving as Relief Society President and was one of the instigators of several mass meetings in January 1870, convened to protest the federal government's proposed anti-polygamy measures. On February 12, the Utah territorial legislature voted unanimously to extend voting rights to women, partly as a result of the agitation of Sarah and others.

On February 19th, at a "Ladies Cooperative Retrenchment Meeting," Sarah said the following (per the minutes, available here):

Said that she had waited patiently a long time, and now that we were granted the right of suffrage, she would openly declare herself a womans rights woman, and called upon those who would to back her up, whereupon many manifested their approval. Said her experience in life had been different to that of many, had moved in all grades of Society, had been both rich and poor, had always seen much good and inteligence in woman, the interests of man and woman cannot be seperated, for the man is not without the woman or the woman without the man in the Lord. She spoke of the foolish custom which deprived the mother of having control over her sons at a certain age. Said she saw the foreshadowing of a brighter day in this respect in the future, said she had entertained ideas that appeared wild that she thought would yet be considered woman’s rights. Spoke of the remarks made by bro. Rockwood lately, who said women would have as much prejudice to overcome in occupying certain positions as the men would in letting them, said he considered a woman a helpmate in every department of life.

(emphasis added by me)

I love that she declared herself a "woman's rights woman"! She also called up the audience to back her up - I love her feisty personality. And I love that she admitted that she had ideas that "appeared wild" with regards to women's rights! More than two decades later, at a 1895 conference celebrating the enshrinement of women's suffrage in Utah's constitution (where she was introduced as a speaker by Susan B. Anthony herself), Sarah would recount how she was a reader of Susan B. Antony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton's paper, "The Revolution," which was published from 1868-1872:

Susan B. Anthony and Anna Shaw visit Utah in 1895
Sarah Kimball is standing and holding a handkerchief in the center, behind Susan B. Anthony

I read an article ridiculing a little paper that was published in the City of New York called the “Revolution ” in which I saw the names of Elizabeth Cady-Stanton and Miss Susan B. Anthony. I looked at the little article of ridicule and I said “There is something I see in that which strikes me and I want it,’’ and I reached out after the little paper I was very much struck with it. It was very peculiar and said very many strange things, but I learned from that little paper the theory and object they had in view was to create thought, their idea was if you can get the people to talk upon this subject, if you can get them to agitate the subject, agitation produces reform. Now this is going to be a reformation and we are going to do all we can to produce this reformation and we are going to labor in our own way. Now 52 years ago I would not have dared to say the bold, grand things that Miss Anthony said, it would have made me so unpopular and I hardly dared to shoulder it; but the seed was planted within my soul and I have been laboring for the same cause — I felt that it was uplifting, that it was necessary for the nation, and as time rolled on we were very careful. (Emphasis added, read full speech and proceedings here)

I don't know for sure, but I like to think that one of the reasons Sarah Kimball declared herself a "Women's Rights Woman" in 1870 was due to the influence of reading "The Revolution." I can't think of a better way to celebrate today's birthday of the Relief Society than by celebrating Sarah Kimball, a true pioneer and one of my heroes!

Believing Women

Reading this blog post got me thinking about stories in the bible where men fail to believe women. I recently got called as a primary teacher for the 11-12 year old girls in my ward. Last week, I taught my first lesson, which was Lesson #25 in the Primary 6 manual about Samson. Reading Judges 13-16, there is a lot there which is probably not appropriate to share with young girls (the whole Samson-gets-his-wife-killed-in-an-ethnic-war thing is PROBLEMATIC to say the least). 

One aspect of the story was something I had forgotten about. In Judges Chapter 13, Manoah's wife (Note 1) gets a visit from an Angel, who tells her that she's going to have a son, despite the fact that she's barren (Note 2). The Angel tells Mrs. Manoah that (a) her son will be a Nazarite (one dedicated to the Lord) and (b) her son is going to deliver Israel from the Philistines. The Angel also communicates how to care for the child - telling her not to drink strong drink while she is pregnant, and not to cut the child's hair. This is a pretty remarkable experience - the Angel appears to her alone and gives her some Pretty Important News that will impact not only her life, but the course of her entire nation.

Naturally, Mrs. Manoah communicates this to Mr. Manoah (Judges 13:6). Now, the text is unclear, because it doesn't actually contain any of the words that Manoah spoke to his wife. But his immediate reaction to the news is to pray and ask God what they should do with the child (Judges 13:8). What is clear is that at least he believes his wife is going to have a child - so I guess he *partially* believes her. But he somehow doesn't believe what they should do with the child (which, remember, the Angel told Mrs. Manoah!). So Manoah prays to God and asks what they should do.

At this point God hearkens to Manoah and sends the same Angel to...Mrs. Manoah! So rather than appear to Manoah in answer to his prayer, the Angel appears again to Mrs. Manoah. This time, she goes and gets her husband. It's important to note that when Manoah asks the Angel what they should do, the Angel says the same thing in verses 13-14 that he did in verse 7 back when he was speaking to Mrs. Manoah alone. In fact, the Angel specifically says "Of all that I said unto the woman let her beware" - basically, "Dude, I already told your wife this, but if you need to hear it from me, here you go."

What's interesting annoying about the LDS Primary Manual is that it asks this question: "When Manoah heard what the angel told his wife, what did he do that showed he had spiritual strength?" I mean, sure, it is important to pray and receive our own testimony. But to me, that isn't the key takeaway from this part of the story. My takeaway is that Manoah didn't trust his wife to receive spiritual revelation impacting the life of their child. So, needless to say, I did not ask this question during my lesson.

Manoah and his wife named their baby boy Samson, and he...had some issues. But that's another post, the moral of this post is: Believe Women! They have amazing spiritual experiences. Mrs. Manoah's experience has echos in the stories of Jesus and John the Baptist. Zechariah didn't believe Elizabeth, but at least Joseph did believe Mary (although...come to think of it, he did have an Angel appear to him to help him out too...). Seems like maybe men need some repetition over this message for the past few thousand years!

Note 1: Samson's mom isn't given a name in the text, though Wikipedia suggests it was either Hazelelponi or Aselelphuni. We'll just call her Mrs. Manoah. Interesting how women are so often defined in relation to the men in the story - which is why I'm excited I get to teach about Ruth and Naomi this week!

Note 2: It's always the *woman* who is barren. In reality, it's possible her husband was the infertile one. This is just a symptom of the larger point.

Expecting Big Things

As you may or may not know, the LDS Church will have two new Apostles this weekend. The governing body of the church is the First Presidency (a President and two counselors), and 12 Apostles. The last time vacancies happened was in October 2015, when three new Apostles were called. To the surprise of some, all of the Apostles were white men* from Utah. This time, many are hoping that the new Apostles will be a bit more diverse. As the Church has grown over the past few decades, there are more international members than domestic members, yet the only non-American Apostle is German Dieter F. Uchtdorf.

This post is part of my thought process the last time new Apostles were called. I want to posit that maybe these white men are an opportunity for us to expect more of ourselves. This might just be me "making lemonade with my lemons," but some of the talk around diversity seems to think that only if the Quorum is ethnically diverse can they lead an ethnically diverse church. In a way, this expects very little of white people - it assumes that they cannot empathize or understand the struggles of people of color. 

What should we should ask of our leaders (and ourselves)? That they only represent or understand their own race? Or should we expect more? Maybe we should expect BIG THINGS - that they talk to and understand many viewpoints different from their own. We should expect them to reach out to everyone, to examine their own biases, and truly seek to know God's will. Taken to an extreme (and this is probably a straw man), it would mean that I as a white person would not be well represented by an African (or African American) prophet. That's bogus - I think we should expect more of our leaders. Empathizing with the experiences of others requires listening, and I think that skill transcends race.

All that being said, I am personally rooting for more diversity. I do think there are great benefits to have a more diverse leadership, and it would be healthy to have a bit more diversity of thought and experience in the Quorum of the Twelve. But, if it is two white men, I will be praying for them that they will seek to understand the struggles and challenges of members in *all* situations. For the record, I would choose Gerrit Gong and Joseph Sitati as the new Apostles, but since I don't get a vote, I will just have to watch Conference this weekend!


*Male Apostles were kind of a given, but the whole gendered dynamic of church leadership is a whole 'nother post (or series of posts!).

Listening

I really liked this Mormon message about listening to others. So often we are very eager to say what we believe while trampling over others' beliefs. So, no matter the outcome of the election tomorrow, listen to those with whom you disagree!

https://www.mormonchannel.org/listen/series/mormon-channel-daily-audio/how-to-listen-when-you-disagree

Step Off (Your Own Rameumptom)

Note: this post has been percolating in my mind for a few months, but I haven't yet found the right words to express the concepts I'm trying to convey. So I decided to post anyway, with the hope that you'll understand the spirit of the post, even if I poorly communicate it. 

"School of Rock," starring Jack Black and assorted adorable adolescents, is one of my favorite funny movies. In the movie, Black plays a faux-substitute teacher and out-of-work rock n' roll dreamer who drafts his class into his dream of winning a rock contest.  In one scene, Black and his class compose a song urging everyone to "step off" from bugging them about their lives.



I think of this song when people tell me unpleasant truths. We all have our preconceived notions about ourselves and the world, and when someone shatters those illusions, our first reaction can be to ignore them (both the truths and the person who told them). I can't remember where I first heard of the concept of "white privilege" or "male privilege" or just privilege in general, but I remember being faintly uncomfortable with it. It seemed like people were ascribing my success to something other than my hard work, and somehow blaming me for a system that I didn't control.

A lot of people who benefit from privilege (a) don't realize they benefit, and (b) don't like being told that they benefit from privilege. However, I think there's a good Mormon story that can help people understand privilege, and it's the story of the Zoramites and their Rameumptom (found in The Book of Mormon here). The Zoramites pray a very self righteous prayer, on a platform that they've built to literally put themselves above others, and they cast out the poor from among them. This is a very literal and egregious example of privilege - in this case consciously choosing to reject and think less of others just because of their wealth status.

Reading this, it's obvious to us that the Zoramites are so self-involved they don't even realize they're doing anything wrong. And they are none too happy when Alma and his missionary companions point this out to them. Indeed, "...[the rich Zoramites] were angry because of the word, for it did destroy their craft; therefore they would not harken unto the words" (Alma 35:3). In other words, because the preaching of Alma hurt them financially, the Zoramites were unwilling to change, or even listen to something that would disrupt the status quo.

Privilege is not always so clear cut. Sometimes it is difficult to see that we are standing on a Rameumptom that we did not construct, but that nonetheless gives us a step up on other people. I firmly believe that the antidote to privilege is the empathy and compassion that comes from living the gospel of Jesus Christ. I was reminded of this last week by President Linda Burton's talk, "I Was a Stranger." She shared so many beautiful thoughts, but I was really touched with her call to empathy. She encouraged us to ask ourselves the following question about those in distress: "What if their story were my story?"

I think this empathy is the goal of conversations about privilege. Privilege is not about punishment for those who benefit from the current system, rather it is about helping everyone understand the struggles of those who do not benefit from the current system, in insidious and sometimes very subtle ways. So, I hope that you won't be threatened by discussions of privilege in the future. Instead of telling that person to "step off" and treating this as an accusation about you, consider it an opportunity to step up to listen and learn someone else's story, and understand their challenges.

For a better discussion of privilege, see here.

Women's History Month

March is a great month, and not just because it moves us closer to my release from busy-ness on April 15th. March is chock full of women-y things that make my feminist heart rejoice.  In the U.S., March is Women's History Month, where we remember the contributions of women in shaping America. March 8 is International Women's Day, which I first celebrated on my mission, and I love because it reminds me of all the strong, capable, spiritual women I met in Russia. March 17th brings the anniversary of the founding of the Relief Society, an organization I love and believe has so much potential to influence lives for good. And this year, the LDS church is holding its annual Women's meeting on March 28th.

The first Relief Society President, Emma Hale Smith, stated that "The object of the Society … is to seek out and relieve the distressed—that each member should be ambitious to do good." I really like that - I think that all of us can be "ambitious to do good." In celebration of all that is wonderful about women, I wanted to get the voices of more LDS women on Pinterest. Pinterest is full of inspiring quotes by male LDS leaders, but when I search for quotes by LDS women I often come up empty. So, to rectify that, I've created "pinnable" images for quotes from every general president of the Relief Society over the last 173 years - there have been 16 presidents so far.

Pin away, I say! Also, feel free to add your own favorite quotes from our Relief Society leaders in the comments below, or use Recitethis.com to create your own pinnable images.

From President Burton's 2014 address, "Wanted: Hands and Hearts to Hasten the Work"

From President Beck's "And Upon the Handmaids in those Days Will I Pour Out My Spirit"

From one of my all time favorites, "Personal Ministry: Sacred and Precious"

President Mary Ellen Wood Smoot, "Steadfast and Immovable"

President Elaine Low Jack, "Seek and Ye Shall Find"

President Barbara Winder, quoted in the book Faith, Hope, and Charity:
Inspiration from the Lives of the General Relief Society Presidents

From "A Conversation with Sister Barbara B. Smith" (I stole this one from Pinterest)

President Belle Smith Spafford, quoted in Chapter 6 of Daughters in My Kingdom

President Amy Brown Lyman, quoted in her official Bio on the church's website

President Louise Yates Robison, quoted in her official bio on the Church's website

President Clarissa Smith Williams, quoted in Chapter 5 of Daughters in My Kingdom

President Emmeline Blanche Woodward Harris Whitney Wells 

President Bathsheba Wilson Smith, quoted by Sheri Dew in "Something Extraordinary"

President Zina Diantha Huntington Young, quoted in "Great Grandmother Zina: A More Personal Portrait"

President Eliza Roxcy Snow's Poem "O My Father," currently in the LDS Hymnal as Hymn #292

President Emma Hale Smith, quoted in her official bio on the Church's website

(Em) Pathetic

My heart has been touched by the recent tragic stories of mothers with children and unaccompanied minors who are fleeing Central American violence and coming illegally to the United States. Their situations, in many cases, are desperate and they feel their only hope for a better life is here in the country I grew up in. I can only imagine the difficulty and improbability of that journey of thousands of miles. I feel a lot of sympathy for them, to say the least.

Lately I've been wondering if feeling sympathy for these huddled masses automatically equates to letting them stay. In other words, is it possible to feel genuinely bad for these people without favoring policies allowing them to remain in the U.S.? Generally it seems that Republicans have been riding the line between blaming Obama for the current situation and simultaneously trying to express compassion for these women and children. Obviously we cannot know their hearts, but some seem to suggest that their kind expressions are false concern because they favor sending these people back to their home countries. If that's the case, that's pretty pathetic.

However, I believe I am called to exercise empathy for those who are suffering. If we truly step into the shoes of these people, we would realize that in their situation we would likely do the EXACT SAME THING. In other words, we start to see these migrants as people rather than as lawbreakers. We realize the unimaginable horrors of their daily lives when their children are forced into drug trafficking and other violent enterprises. Why do we not take the time to feel that empathy? Today I read an article which reminded me of this quote from Dr. Martin Luther King about the parable of the good Samaritan, and why some did not stop to help:

Now, you know, we use our imagination a great deal to try to determine why the priest and the Levite didn’t stop. At times we say they were busy going to a church meeting, an ecclesiastical gathering, and they had to get on down to Jerusalem so they wouldn’t be late for their meeting. At other times we would speculate that there was a religious law that one who was engaged in religious ceremonials was not to touch a human body twenty-four hours before the ceremony. And every now and then we begin to wonder whether maybe they were not going down to Jerusalem, or down to Jericho, rather, to organize a Jericho Road Improvement Association. That’s a possibility. Maybe they felt it was better to deal with the problem from the causal root, rather than to get bogged down with an individual effect.

But I’m going to tell you what my imagination tells me. It’s possible that those men were afraid. You see, the Jericho Road is a dangerous road. I remember when Mrs. King and I were first in Jerusalem. We rented a car and drove from Jerusalem down to Jericho. And as soon as we got on that road I said to my wife, ‘I can see why Jesus used this as the setting for his parable.’ It’s a winding, meandering road. It’s really conducive for ambushing. You start out in Jerusalem, which is about twelve hundred miles, or rather, twelve hundred feet above sea level. And by the time you get down to Jericho fifteen or twenty minutes later, you’re about twenty-two feet below sea level. That’s a dangerous road. In the days of Jesus it came to be known as the ‘Bloody Pass.’ And you know, it’s possible that the priest and the Levite looked over that man on the ground and wondered if the robbers were still around. Or it’s possible that they felt that the man on the ground was merely faking , and he was acting like he had been robbed and hurt in order to seize them over there, lure them there for quick and easy seizure. And so the first question that the priest asked, the first question that the Levite asked was, ‘If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?’

But then the Good Samaritan came by, and he reversed the question: ‘If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?’
Instead of thinking about how immigrants will affect us (i.e. they will steal our jobs! our welfare! flood our streets with crime!), why don't we start thinking about how deportation affects them? What will happen to these people if they are deported? I don't honestly know if it would change the minds of those opposed to letting these people stay, but it might at least tone down some of the rhetoric of those protesting against the immigrants' presence, which could only be a good thing.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Indecision Political Humor,The Colbert Report on Facebook

Stephen Colbert, "Questionable Compassion for Child Immigrants"

Please Stay! (Subtitle: I Give It As My Opinion)

Most of the people who read this blog are Mormon, and thus probably aware of current events. If not, please read the NY Times Article and Deseret News article before reading the below, so you know what I'm talking about. Also, this post is mostly about Mormons, by a Mormon, therefore, I apologize for a lot of Mormon-y lingo that I probably won't take the time to explain. I also apologize for the length of this post - it is long, rambling, and incoherent. And, last of the trio of apologies, I am sorry if I offend you, as I am sure to in some way, given the very sensitive and divisive nature of this topic. My intent is to urge all to remain in the wonderful tent of the gospel of Jesus Christ, which I believe is found in its fullness in the Mormon church.

There's an interesting little phrase in the Book of Mormon, when the prophet Alma is speaking to his son Corianton. Alma starts the chapter with insight into his son's struggles: "...I perceive that thy mind is worried concerning the resurrection of the dead" (Alma 40:1). In other words, he recognizes his son is troubled about an aspect of church doctrine that he doesn't fully understand. Alma doesn't accuse the son of lack of faith just for being troubled about an issue, instead, he acknowledges this worry, and talks to Corianton about it, addressing his concerns. 

Alma then goes on to explain, in great detail, the doctrine, while acknowledging that there is much that he doesn't fully understand. He states in verse 5 of the chapter that he doesn't know whether there is one time for the resurrection or many and he acknowledges in verses 19 and 21 that he cannot say the timing of certain aspects of the resurrection. But the phrase that I really want to talk about is in verse 20: "...behold, I give it as my opinion..." In other words, this is Alma, the prophet for the entire church, voicing his OPINION on an aspect of church doctrine. He acknowledges he could be wrong (although later events would prove him right). I am grateful for that example of humility by a prophet. I think it shows that Alma is willing to accept whatever the will of the Lord is.

I give it as my opinion that, someday, women will hold the priesthood. The history of the priesthood holders of God has been one of gradual expansion (in Abraham's time, it was limited to a select few, in Israelite times, only the tribe of Levi exercised the priesthood, and for part of the 1800's and first 3/4ths of the 1900's, only white males exercised the priesthood, but those restrictions fell away and now all worthy males hold the priesthood). We are a church that believes that "...God will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the kingdom of God." The extension of the priesthood is only based on my understanding, and I may be wrong. The thing is, even if I'm wrong, I'm staying in the church, because I believe the church and gospel is true. Also, I'm not the prophet, and I don't get to receive revelation for the church. I have faith that if and when that day comes, those who lead the church will be open to receiving that revelation and making it known (Note: I DO NOT mean that those who disagree with me on these points are unfaithful or wrong, again, I merely give these points as my opinion). 

Chieko Okazaki has a quote that I think applies to both Kate Kelly and those participating in her disciplinary council: "In principles, great clarity; in practices, great charity." The principle is that God loves all his children, male and female.  In practice, that means we should exercise the maximum possible charity for our sister, Kate Kelly.  She's a beloved daughter of God who's doing what she thinks is right. She is devastated and hurt by the possibility of excommunication. We should also have the maximum amount of charity for her Bishop, her Stake President, and all those involved in the disciplinary process, instead of ascribing terrible motives to them for their actions. 

I've been a member of the church for my whole life, and I've had many Bishops. As I've thought about this process, I've thought about my former seminary teacher who also served as our Bishop at one point, and who thought (and probably still thinks) I was a crazy liberal loon. I think I would trust even him to hear me out and listen to my side. Church leaders, in my experience, try to do the right thing and really do seek to know the will of the Lord. However, I acknowledge that this is not everyone's experience, and Church leaders are only human, and make mistakes. 

If you're reading this, and considering leaving the church, I am trying to feel your pain - I acknowledge that this has been hurtful to you in ways that I probably don't understand. Additionally, come next week, it's possible that Kate Kelly's Church Disciplinary Council will make a decision that is not right (whatever the "right" decision is), but please, please, please don't leave the church over it. The church and the gospel still need you.

Please stay. Stay in the church, because we need your doubts and your fears. We need you to raise hard questions without easy answers. We need to you point out inequalities that bother you, even if they don't bother others. We need your perspective and your testimony. Forgive us our shortcomings and lack of understanding. Likewise, you need the church. You need us to help you and strengthen you and serve you. You need us to learn from our perspective and testimony. We all need each other. Please don't leave us.

That last paragraph came out as an us vs. them, but it's not. We are a worldwide brotherhood and sisterhood who should love each other. We need more love, in my opinion. 

Some other random thoughts I've had while thinking about and writing this post:

- I don't get to judge Kate Kelly. I am called to love her and seek to understand her, and all my other brothers and sisters who struggle with issues related to women and the priesthood (or any other church doctrine, for that matter). However, bishops are called as "Judges in Israel." They are given keys and discernment to try to do what is best for the individual. There is nothing more serious than a church court, and I hope people take it as seriously as it deserves.  

- Where Sister Kelly may have gone astray, in my mind, is in stating that the only way to fix the problems she perceives in the church is through women's ordination. Again, I don't get to judge her because I don't know all the facts and it's not my responsibility. I believe there is nothing wrong with expressing our doubts, and sharing them. It's a fine and porous line between expressing genuine doubts while being true to yourself and taking upon yourself the responsibility to receive revelation for the whole church on what "must" happen. Again, I'm not judging which side of the line Sister Kelly is on, merely expressing my belief that there is such a line. As stated above, I believe maximum charity and compassion should be extended by those whose responsibility it is to be a judge in Israel.

- Some of the language and tactics of the Ordain Women movement trouble me personally, and I don't personally feel comfortable with these terms and tactics. I think some of the language that is used is divisive and unnecessarily recriminatory. Calling people who disagree with you names can only make them defensive and less likely to listen to you, even if you have valid points to make. I think there are many church cultural practices that, when pointed out to people and explained why these are hurtful, will seem unfair, and we can do things at the local level in our wards and stakes to address these points. Cultural change requires all of us to see others kindly and with love.

- I am troubled by posts like this, which seek to make OW supporters the "other" who are hypocrites crying crocodile tears.  See my previous post about seeing things from their perspective here.

- So far the best posts I have seen on this topic are here and here. These posts are part of the reason I stay in the church. It causes me much sorrow to read about the pain of others who are struggling - I love you, and I pray for you to feel the peace that passeth all understanding. Pray for me, that I might know how to love you and help you, because I truly want to.

Extraordinary Occasions - 170 Years Young

I really should post a Happy Birthday Relief Society post!  But, it's already been done better here (prosaically) and here (poetically).

Relief Society inspires me to look higher, to be better, to acquire charity. I don't live up to its theme, but I (sometimes) try. This simple video just reminded me of the simple goodness that Relief Society brings. The greatest testimony of Relief Society for me comes from associating with women who try to live it. They're imperfect and fall short, like me, but I can see the kindness and goodness that comes from living the truths of the gospel. Yep, I'm a nerd for Relief Society. Shocker.



Happy 170th, Relief Society!

Expounding and Exhorting

Note: January has apparently been the month for me to take a break from any New Year's resolutions or re-commitment to blogging...I'm going to try to start blogging every Monday again.

At my last work training event, part of the first day was devoted to a large group meeting of everyone in my practice group in my firm - hundreds of people. The first part of this meeting was the leader of my group talking about financial metrics. He then turned in over to one of his colleagues in the leadership group to lead a discussion of some tax technical issues. She brought two other tax partners up on stage and they had a discussion about these issues and the services our firm provides related to the issues.

Not really a remarkable discussion, except for the fact that all three participants in the conversation were women. On the flight to training, I had started reading "Lean In" by Sheryl Sandberg, and so I noticed this particular moment and marked it in my mind. These women were articulate, poised, and confident. I don't know all of them, but the woman leading the discussion has a few happy, well-adjusted children, whom I've met, as she works in an office near mine. Later on, this same woman would field some very demanding questions knowledgeably, and she held her ground under some tough demands by men in the audience who perhaps had more years in the firm (she was right, by the way).

I don't share this because I was surprised that women could be articulate, rather I was reminded of some of the things I learned while reading Sandberg's "Lean In." Perhaps the most remarkable thing about this meeting was that it wasn't remarkable to the people in the room. Afterwards, no one was saying, "gosh, why did they let three women lead a meeting?" No one else seemed to notice (or care) that three women in leadership were teaching a group of men and women. It wasn't unusual or abnormal to listen to women in positions of authority. One of my favorite Sandberg quotes was: "In the future, there will be no female leaders. There will just be leaders."

As a lifelong church member, I've attended many meetings in church, and it's very, very rare to see a similar meeting where women are "in charge" of a group of both men and women. Women lead Relief Society and Primary meetings, but those organizations are made up primarily of women and children (some male Primary teachers, I grant you). There have been recent attempts by the church to integrate women into the decision making structure of the church (training on effective use of councils including women voices, sister missionary leaders), but for the most part, women do not play a large part in leadership in the church. This is evident by the graph below, which was put together based on the Church's 2013 General Conference (put together by the good folks at By Common Consent, a Mormon blog).

I had never thought about it, but there is a higher percentage of male speakers at the women's meeting of General Conference than there is of female participation in the General sessions of conference. Something that some men have talked about in recent General Conference talks is how wonderful women are (see here and here for recent examples). This idea holds that women are unique, with individual gifts of the spirit and a different role than men. This is troubling to me for two contradictory reasons.

First, if it is true, then why would we not want to have more women in leadership/speaking/teaching positions in the church? If we women, as a group, truly do have unique insights or talents, why would you use only 50% of the talent given to the church? If women ARE all that you say we are, wouldn't it be helpful to hear from them more often? Wouldn't men benefit from being taught by this group of people?

Two, what if it isn't true? What if women and men don't really have demonstrable differences in our characters? In my opinion it leads to the same conclusion as the first point - why would we limit ourselves to only men teachers/leaders? It seems an unfair burden to the men and a lack of opportunity for women.

Dear reader(s), don't interpret this as a jab at men. I have known many wonderful male leaders in the church, who have inspired me by word and example. However, I have likewise known many capable and wonderful women who have the ability to inspire and teach, but have done so in smaller venues. I simply feel that women and men would be blessed by hearing these inspiring women.

I'll close with a scripture that flies in the face of Paul's advice to "let your women keep silence in the churches..." (1 Corinthians 14:34). Emma Smith was told: "And thou shalt be ordained under [Joseph's] hand to expound scriptures, and to exhort the church, according as it shall be given thee by my Spirit." (D&C 25:7). Lest you think this a role only for a prophet's wife, the Lord reminds us "and verily, verily, I say unto you, that this is my voice unto all..." (D&C 25:16). Expounding scriptures and exhorting the entire church sounds like a role for women I can get behind.

Let's hear it for the girls ladies sisters! I hope to share some more insights from "Lean In" in the coming months - I really enjoyed that book.

(Em)pathetic

3 things have recently gotten me thinking about empathy:

1) Nick Kristof's recent column on the demise of empathy. ( http://mobile.nytimes.com/2013/11/28/opinion/kristof-where-is-the-love.html?smid=tw-share)

2) A column in the Huffington Post about the hopelessness of being poor in America. (http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4326233)

3) News story about a Mormon bishop who dressed as a homeless man. (http://www.npr.org/2013/11/29/247825783/costumed-as-homeless-mormon-bishop-teaches-a-lesson-in-compassion?ft=1&f=1001&utm_content=socialflow&utm_campaign=nprnews&utm_source=npr&utm_medium=twitter)

These three stories have reminded me that empathy, or seeing ourselves in another's shoes, is fundamentally important in both religion and politics.  Religion brings together people with different experiences.  Politics often forces us to face people who disagree with us.  In both situations, we need the humility born of empathy to see others and understand them.

King Benjamin in the Book of Mormon teaches a powerful lesson about empathy for the poor:

Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just
But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.
For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?

This scripture reminds me that I too am a beggar, and need to treat others who find themselves in difficult circumstances as I would want to be treated.  We may disagree on steps to help the poor, but I hope we can do so while agreeing on measures to assist those who live without hope.  I believe food stamps and other social safety next programs are vitally important to children and other innocent victims of poverty.

Apologies for the terrible links in this post, my internet isn't working this evening, so I had to resort to an app to post from my phone.  Hope they work!

Love

I got a few reminders of the importance of love today.  The first was a spiritual thought in one of the meetings I was in.  It's from President Uchtdorf's 2009 conference talk, "The Love of God:"

God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn’t care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely.

He loves us because He is filled with an infinite measure of holy, pure, and indescribable love. We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. God’s love is so great that He loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked.

This was just so exactly what I needed to hear.  Loved it.  Then my dad introduced me to a new hymn this evening.  It's a Shaker melody and there's a great version sung by BYU Concert Choir, which of course isn't available for free online, but here's a version sung by a church choir that I found on YouTube:

Here are the lyrics to the song:

Love is little, love is low
Love will make our spirits grow
Grow in peace, grow in light
Love will do the thing that's right


Some versions have additional verses, I like them too:

Love is tender Love is best
In thy arms of holy rest
Keep me safe keep me still
Always open to thy will

Love thy neighbor, heal thy friend
Tender mercies now descend
Full of hope full of grace
As I gaze into thy face

Love surrounds me makes me whole
Love eternal fills my soul
Free from sin free from pain
When our Savior comes to reign

So, free advice for your week - share the love.

Prayer & Schools

Let's get one thing straight.  I hate Country Music.  Sorry, y'all, but even though I was raised in the (nominal) south, the twanginess irks my soul.  Admittedly, there are few songs that remind me of hilarious times with former roommates but I don't enjoy the actual sound of the songs so much as the memories they invoke. But, sometimes I can bear listening to the local bluegrass station if it doesn't get too twangy - it's mellower than country somehow. This morning I listened to a song that basically said the country was going to rot because we could burn flags but we couldn't pray in schools (actually, the song specifically said we were headed towards communism, but I'll save my loathing of that particular straw man argument for another time).

Now, I went to 13 years of public school, and I was never told I couldn't pray.  I must have missed this particular memo, because I do remember praying in school - before tests, during periods of social isolation and general awkwardness (aka Middle School), and any time I choose.  Just because I didn't recite a formulaic prayer that some bureaucrat wrote didn't mean that I didn't pray.  Nothing that I have found prevents you from praying in school, or anyplace else for that matter.  Recently, many of my most meaningful prayers occur in my car.

I've never had a problem with the Supreme Court decision which barred mandatory prayer in public schools. These decisions are still deeply unpopular in the U.S., as many people seem to view them as an affront to their religious beliefs.  However, if you're Mormon, would you want to recite a Lutheran prayer or have that endorsed by the state?  If you're Catholic, would you feel comfortable having your children read a Muslim prayer?  If you're Hindu, do you want your children to have to pray about Jesus?  Any prayer general enough to please everybody would end up pleasing nobody.

Which brings me to my point: formal prayer in public schools would have to be so watered down in our pluralistic society that it would become meaningless form.  And I believe religion should be personal and integral in our lives, not just a token prayer at school, but a communion with the divine.  Government should give everyone's beliefs respect and protection of law, but it should not force belief on people - to do so corrupts government and religion.

To close, here's my favorite hymn that's also a prayer - it has a lot of meaning to me personally, so I hope you enjoy this beautiful arrangement courtesy of the internet:

"I Need Thee Every Hour," Sam Robson

Who Shall Ascend?

Lately there has been a lot of press about the Ordain Women movement, which is advocating for the extension of priesthood to women in the Mormon church.  I haven't added my thoughts to the debate, because others have written much more eloquently about it.  I think this post by biggins comes closest to capturing my thoughts.  However, this post isn't about the topic of women and the priesthood, instead it's about how we talk about things like this.

In my opinion, the most disturbing thing about the Ordain Women movement has been the reaction of those who disagree with them.  These women have been accused of being on the road to "apostasy."  Mormons generally view the world in pretty black and white terms - you're either with us or against us.  This view of the world lacks a lot of nuance.  Just because someone sees something differently than you doesn't mean they're wrong.

One of the metaphors Mormons use a lot is that of the "Iron Rod."  This is a story from the Book of Mormon which tells of a dream shared by the prophet Lehi (and then later seen by his son Nephi too).  The Iron Rod represents the road to salvation, and you have to cling to the rod and "press forward" to reach the Tree of Life to receive salvation.  Although this is a great story, and I don't mean to quibble with the prophets, the story also breeds a certain moral absolutism.  If you are not on the "straight and narrow path" that is next to the Iron Rod, then you have wandered from the one true way and are lost.  This kind of thinking can be very problematic in both a religious and political context.

What could be a better metaphor that would encompass different points of view?  I've been thinking that Psalms 24:3-4 might provide an answer.  That scripture reads:  "Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place?  He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully."

Instead of thinking about the road to eternal life and salvation as an exclusionary path where it's "my way or the high way," allow yourself to think of the road to eternal life as a mountain or hill we all must climb.  Each of us sees different sides of the mountain, but we're all striving towards the same goal.  You may not have seen the boulder of biogtry in your path, but your sister on the other side of the mountain may feel her way is blocked by that insurmountable obstacle.  JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T SEE IT DOESN'T MEAN THE BOULDER ISN'T THERE FOR HER.  Each of us is trying to reach Zion, where dwell the pure in heart.  You can't assume that because someone sees sexism in the church culture or feels excluded from church riturals that she doesn't want the same things you want.  She is pure in heart, and you are too.  

As another post put it, the pain is real.  There are women I know who do feel that pain, who feel that there are insurmountable cliffs that form a barrier to their service and activity in the church.  Some of them have already left, and some of them feel their path is simply too hard to struggle up any more.  We can help the stranded hikers, or those about to give up - we can ascend to the hill of the Lord if we do it together, in unity, love, and understanding.  We can try to understand their pain, their obstacles, even if we don't have them in our own path.  We can do what we can to shoulder their burdens and understand, instead of blaming them for pointing out those things that are holding them back.  Let's not lift up our souls to vanity, but instead cleanse our hands (and hearts) of any malice towards those who struggle, who yearn for zion, but see it with different eyes than us.

In short, let's love one another.  And think about constructive ways to address the pain many women feel.  Here are some good thoughts.