Please Stay! (Subtitle: I Give It As My Opinion)

Most of the people who read this blog are Mormon, and thus probably aware of current events. If not, please read the NY Times Article and Deseret News article before reading the below, so you know what I'm talking about. Also, this post is mostly about Mormons, by a Mormon, therefore, I apologize for a lot of Mormon-y lingo that I probably won't take the time to explain. I also apologize for the length of this post - it is long, rambling, and incoherent. And, last of the trio of apologies, I am sorry if I offend you, as I am sure to in some way, given the very sensitive and divisive nature of this topic. My intent is to urge all to remain in the wonderful tent of the gospel of Jesus Christ, which I believe is found in its fullness in the Mormon church.

There's an interesting little phrase in the Book of Mormon, when the prophet Alma is speaking to his son Corianton. Alma starts the chapter with insight into his son's struggles: "...I perceive that thy mind is worried concerning the resurrection of the dead" (Alma 40:1). In other words, he recognizes his son is troubled about an aspect of church doctrine that he doesn't fully understand. Alma doesn't accuse the son of lack of faith just for being troubled about an issue, instead, he acknowledges this worry, and talks to Corianton about it, addressing his concerns. 

Alma then goes on to explain, in great detail, the doctrine, while acknowledging that there is much that he doesn't fully understand. He states in verse 5 of the chapter that he doesn't know whether there is one time for the resurrection or many and he acknowledges in verses 19 and 21 that he cannot say the timing of certain aspects of the resurrection. But the phrase that I really want to talk about is in verse 20: "...behold, I give it as my opinion..." In other words, this is Alma, the prophet for the entire church, voicing his OPINION on an aspect of church doctrine. He acknowledges he could be wrong (although later events would prove him right). I am grateful for that example of humility by a prophet. I think it shows that Alma is willing to accept whatever the will of the Lord is.

I give it as my opinion that, someday, women will hold the priesthood. The history of the priesthood holders of God has been one of gradual expansion (in Abraham's time, it was limited to a select few, in Israelite times, only the tribe of Levi exercised the priesthood, and for part of the 1800's and first 3/4ths of the 1900's, only white males exercised the priesthood, but those restrictions fell away and now all worthy males hold the priesthood). We are a church that believes that "...God will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the kingdom of God." The extension of the priesthood is only based on my understanding, and I may be wrong. The thing is, even if I'm wrong, I'm staying in the church, because I believe the church and gospel is true. Also, I'm not the prophet, and I don't get to receive revelation for the church. I have faith that if and when that day comes, those who lead the church will be open to receiving that revelation and making it known (Note: I DO NOT mean that those who disagree with me on these points are unfaithful or wrong, again, I merely give these points as my opinion). 

Chieko Okazaki has a quote that I think applies to both Kate Kelly and those participating in her disciplinary council: "In principles, great clarity; in practices, great charity." The principle is that God loves all his children, male and female.  In practice, that means we should exercise the maximum possible charity for our sister, Kate Kelly.  She's a beloved daughter of God who's doing what she thinks is right. She is devastated and hurt by the possibility of excommunication. We should also have the maximum amount of charity for her Bishop, her Stake President, and all those involved in the disciplinary process, instead of ascribing terrible motives to them for their actions. 

I've been a member of the church for my whole life, and I've had many Bishops. As I've thought about this process, I've thought about my former seminary teacher who also served as our Bishop at one point, and who thought (and probably still thinks) I was a crazy liberal loon. I think I would trust even him to hear me out and listen to my side. Church leaders, in my experience, try to do the right thing and really do seek to know the will of the Lord. However, I acknowledge that this is not everyone's experience, and Church leaders are only human, and make mistakes. 

If you're reading this, and considering leaving the church, I am trying to feel your pain - I acknowledge that this has been hurtful to you in ways that I probably don't understand. Additionally, come next week, it's possible that Kate Kelly's Church Disciplinary Council will make a decision that is not right (whatever the "right" decision is), but please, please, please don't leave the church over it. The church and the gospel still need you.

Please stay. Stay in the church, because we need your doubts and your fears. We need you to raise hard questions without easy answers. We need to you point out inequalities that bother you, even if they don't bother others. We need your perspective and your testimony. Forgive us our shortcomings and lack of understanding. Likewise, you need the church. You need us to help you and strengthen you and serve you. You need us to learn from our perspective and testimony. We all need each other. Please don't leave us.

That last paragraph came out as an us vs. them, but it's not. We are a worldwide brotherhood and sisterhood who should love each other. We need more love, in my opinion. 

Some other random thoughts I've had while thinking about and writing this post:

- I don't get to judge Kate Kelly. I am called to love her and seek to understand her, and all my other brothers and sisters who struggle with issues related to women and the priesthood (or any other church doctrine, for that matter). However, bishops are called as "Judges in Israel." They are given keys and discernment to try to do what is best for the individual. There is nothing more serious than a church court, and I hope people take it as seriously as it deserves.  

- Where Sister Kelly may have gone astray, in my mind, is in stating that the only way to fix the problems she perceives in the church is through women's ordination. Again, I don't get to judge her because I don't know all the facts and it's not my responsibility. I believe there is nothing wrong with expressing our doubts, and sharing them. It's a fine and porous line between expressing genuine doubts while being true to yourself and taking upon yourself the responsibility to receive revelation for the whole church on what "must" happen. Again, I'm not judging which side of the line Sister Kelly is on, merely expressing my belief that there is such a line. As stated above, I believe maximum charity and compassion should be extended by those whose responsibility it is to be a judge in Israel.

- Some of the language and tactics of the Ordain Women movement trouble me personally, and I don't personally feel comfortable with these terms and tactics. I think some of the language that is used is divisive and unnecessarily recriminatory. Calling people who disagree with you names can only make them defensive and less likely to listen to you, even if you have valid points to make. I think there are many church cultural practices that, when pointed out to people and explained why these are hurtful, will seem unfair, and we can do things at the local level in our wards and stakes to address these points. Cultural change requires all of us to see others kindly and with love.

- I am troubled by posts like this, which seek to make OW supporters the "other" who are hypocrites crying crocodile tears.  See my previous post about seeing things from their perspective here.

- So far the best posts I have seen on this topic are here and here. These posts are part of the reason I stay in the church. It causes me much sorrow to read about the pain of others who are struggling - I love you, and I pray for you to feel the peace that passeth all understanding. Pray for me, that I might know how to love you and help you, because I truly want to.

Cooperation is the Dirtiest Word

As the title of my blog probably makes clear, I'm no supporter of Eric Cantor. He and I disagree about many, many things. Still, when I contemplate the fact that Representative Cantor lost his primary race to a little known Tea Party challenger, I'm reminded of a scene from "Remember the Titans:"

"Boy, You Must Be Outside Your Mind" - Denzel Washington

Republican primary voters, you must be outside your minds! Reading and listening to the news coverage this morning, it appears that Cantor didn't work hard enough to win hearts and minds in his district. However, it is MIND BOGGLING to me that one of the reasons he lost is that he contemplated a bi-partisan immigration solution. CONTEMPLATED, mind you. Note that he didn't even actually achieve anything, but the mere fact that he considered cooperating with Democrats to craft a national solution to immigration problems was a factor in his defeat.

Cantor supported a Republican version of the DREAM act, which allows children brought to the U.S. by their parents illegally to go to college and become citizens. This bill was never even brought for a vote, but Cantor's support for it seems to have contributed to his undoing.

Why does cooperation have to be a dirty word? We all have principles, but we live in a divided and pluralistic country, and we can't always get what we want. To think otherwise is to have the obstinate mindset of a 5 year old child who must always get what they want. Compromise and cooperation have served this country well for over 200, and I shudder to think what the future holds if we continue to paint the other side as demons with whom no compromise or cooperation can even be contemplated.

Play Nice

Recently I re-read a bunch of old posts (noted: I am not a good writer and I use too many parentheses). One of the themes that came through to me was that, as Democratic a partisan as I am, I root more for political niceties. Many of my posts plead with people from different sides to listen to one another and not insult one another just because they disagree.

"When it comes to our political views, let's blindly follow the lead of idiot celebrities and pop culture rather than think for ourselves."

As I am wont to do, I recently acquired a new Facebook friend. She* posts a lot of very one sided political things which drive me a little crazy. For purposes of this post it's not really important which side. But it reminded me that we are all view the world through our own partisan lens. When we read the news or learn about current events, we process it through the filter of our own experiences and expectations. I am very tempted to hide this friend's posts. But I have so far stopped myself, because I think it is a good reminder to me that I need to step outside myself and try to see things from others' perspectives.

It also got me thinking about the last time I really changed my mind about a political issue. For all that I claim to be so open minded, I couldn't remember the last time I really heard a good argument about a political issue. As a fallible human being, I know intellectually that not all my opinions are correct. Yet I cling to them - why?

Part of this is the lack of decent, thought provoking debate on the internet. Much of it descends into name calling, trolling, and ALL CAPS screaming matches. Whenever I do brave the political waters on the Facebook, it inevitably turns ugly - fast. Also, I am really bad at choosing a side in good debates because I think whoever is talking has some good points and I'm with them until the other side refutes it (indecisiveness!). But part of my lack of mind-changing-ness is undoubtedly the stubbornness factor. It is easier to stick with opinions on "my" side because it's safer. I have to use less brain power to reason out my arguments if my opponents are crazy people who kow-tow to the Koch Brothers or Nancy Pelosi or Communists (pick your favorite boogeyman, insert here).

So, yet again, this post comes down to the over-arching theme of being nice. Listen. I've found I learn a lot more when I shut my mouth. I'm going to try to re-examine some of my own opinions, and change them if I find them to be wrong. How do you find out you're wrong? What can we do to play nice and encourage genuine political debate in such forums as Facebook?

"The enemy is not Muslims or Christians or Judaism...The Real enemy is Extremism."

*Could be "he" or "she" - for purposes of this post I'm just using the female pronoun (I flipped a coin), and I didn't want to give away the friend's gender on the very remote chance that he/she reads this post.

Happy Tax Day!

Someday I will write an entire musical about tax accounting. It will be epic. For now, here is the opening song of my future glory, sung to the tune of "Tradition" from Fiddler on the Roof. I've even added some of the dialogue which is in italics.  First you should listen to the real thing:



A tax code that has 3.8 million words. Sounds crazy, no? But in our little country of America, everyone of us must file a tax return, (hopefully) without getting an IRS audit. You may ask, how do we keep our sanity, if it's so complicated?  That I can tell you in one word - EXTENSION!

Extension! Extension! Extension!
Extension! Extension! Extension!

Because of our extensions, we've kept our sanity
For many many tax busy seasons.
Here in the U.S., we have extensions for everything
Partnerships, Corporations, Individuals.
For instance, we always extend, if the GAAP audit isn't finished,
Or simply if we are too lazy to find our receipts.
This shows our constant devotion to patriotism.
You may ask, how did these extensions get started?
I'll tell you. I don't know.
And because of our extensions, everyone of us knows how long we have, 
But has no clue what the IRS expects us to do.

Who day and night must scramble for the info,
Forget other responsiblities, have the daily calls?
And who has the right as the payer of the bills
To have the final say on the return?
The client! The client! Extension!
The client! The client! Extension!

Who must know the way to complete the return?
A correct return, a complete return?
Who must complete the workpapers and fill the forms?
So the client's free to not read the IRC?*
CPA Firm! CPA Firm! Extension!
CPA Firm! CPA Firm! Extension!

At 8 (a.m.), I started reading cases, at 10 (p.m.) I learned the regs,
I hear they've picked a client for me, I hope it's easy!
The manager! The manager! Extension!
The manager! The manager! Extension!

And who does manager teach? To enter, add, and calculate?
Preparing me to understand even the tax rate?
The staff! The staff! Extension!
The staff! The staff! Extension!

The client! CPA Firm! Manager! Staff! Extension!

And in the circle of our little country, we've always had our special types. For instance, confused and desperate taxpayers, IRS Tax Auditors, and most importantly, our beloved taxpayer service hotline.

Taxpayer: IRS, may I ask you a question?
IRS Customer Service Representative: Certainly, my citizen.
Taxpayer: Is there a proper way to evade taxes?
IRS Customer Service Representative: A proper way to evade taxes?  Of course! Be unemployed, have no salary, and thus no taxable income!

Then there are the others in our country. They have a much bigger influence. His honor, the tax court judge. Her honor, the taxwriting committee congresswoman. Her honor, the K Street lobbyist. His honor, the 1% who contribute to vast sums to elections. His honor, many many others... We don't bother them, and so far, they don't notice us. And among ourselves, we always understand tax code perfectly well. Of course, there was that one time, we argued about who had to file the return last year, but it's all settled now, and now we don't argue about it any more.

Wife: I mailed it in, on April 14th!
Husband: I e-filed it, on April 15th!
Wife: MAIL!
Husband: E-FILE!

Extensions! Extensions! Extensions!
Extensions! Extensions! Extensions!

Extensions, Extensions - without our extensions, our lives would be as crazy confusing, as a 3.8 million word tax code!


So, who's willing to bankroll my Broadway career as the next Rogers & Hammerstein?

*Internal Revenue Code

Extraordinary Occasions - 170 Years Young

I really should post a Happy Birthday Relief Society post!  But, it's already been done better here (prosaically) and here (poetically).

Relief Society inspires me to look higher, to be better, to acquire charity. I don't live up to its theme, but I (sometimes) try. This simple video just reminded me of the simple goodness that Relief Society brings. The greatest testimony of Relief Society for me comes from associating with women who try to live it. They're imperfect and fall short, like me, but I can see the kindness and goodness that comes from living the truths of the gospel. Yep, I'm a nerd for Relief Society. Shocker.



Happy 170th, Relief Society!

Crimes in Crimea

In college, I took an international politics class, and ended up studying Iraq with a nationally recognized expert on that country. It was a fascinating time to be studying that region, as the U.S. was gearing up for war and eventually invaded Iraq a few months after I finished the class. I remember writing a short paper on why invading Iraq was a bad idea (to be fair to my powers of prophecy, I stole the idea from a Foreign Affairs article I was summarizing). I still think invading Iraq was a bad idea, even if Saddam Hussein was a bad guy. But this post isn't about America's iniquities in Iraq, or atrocities in Afghanistan, or even our long-ago capers in Cuba. Rather, it's about Russian President Putin's power grab in Crimea. Yet often, America gets accused of hypocrisy when we condemn aggression by other nations.

Living in Russia for a year and a half, I got a whole earful of ordinary Russians' world views. I learned who really won World War II (spoiler alert: not the Americans), and why things were better and more stable under Soviet rule. It opened my eyes when one girl told of growing up in the post-Soviet era 90's, awakening one day to find that prices in the stores had doubled overnight while her family's wages stayed the same. It helped me understand why people viewed the (relative) stability that Putin brought as a good thing. True, their lives weren't great, but ordinary was better than chaos.

Returning from my mission, I took a Russian culture class (which should be required BEFORE going on missions, but that's another story). In learning more about Russian culture and history, I learned about the leaders who had managed to unite the diverse and huge geography that makes up Russia. It is not easy to rule such a country, and Russians have typically favored strong leaders. They don't have much positive experience with democracy.

Yet, even knowing the background of some of Russia's world view, and allowing for my own hypocrisy in supporting American intervention in other conflicts like Afghanistan, I still feel justified in condemning this aggression by Russia. Ukraine, and Ukrainians, threw out a leader in a popular uprising. The country is working towards new elections. You should not invade a sovereign nation just because they overthrew the government that was friendly to you. Critiquing American hypocrisy is deflecting attention from the fact that Russia condemned such actions but is now endorsing them to further its own goals. Let the Ukrainian people (including the ethnic Russians!) decide their own fate.

Genial in a Bottle

One of my friends posted a thing to Facebook today about which U.S. President would win in a knife fight (Teddy Roosevelt was the article's answer). I've recently been reading "Bully Pulpit" about Teddy and Bill Taft.  I have to say I do love Teddy, but I'm surprised how much I really like Taft.  I can't say I remember much about him from history class, but he seems like a fundamentally decent guy, who was well liked by everybody. So I think Taft would talk everyone down from the knife fight, and build bridges of understanding through his genial temperament.  I wish we could bottle that and give it to today's politicians!